Black Girls Heal helps women break out of cycles of unhealthy relationships with unavailable partners and feeling not enough by combining coaching, therapeutic support, and practical tools. Every episode, we will talk about intimacy, attachment, healing unresolved trauma, and growing in our self worth.
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#259: What to Do When You Like Someone as a Love Avoidant
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we're diving into the world of love avoidance and how to navigate new relationships when you're healing from love addiction. We'll talk about understanding intimacy disorders, recovering from those avoidant patterns, and how to communicate your needs in a healthy way. Whether you're just starting in your recover…
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#258: What to Do When You Like Someone as a Love Addict
34:16
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the intricacies of managing romantic relationships for those in recovery from love addiction. We discuss the importance of staying in touch with your body, practicing self-affirmation, and maintaining your own life and identity. These actionable tips are geared to help you stay balanced while develo…
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#257: How Fantasy Fuels Unrealistic Expectations
20:35
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You know that feeling when things don't go as planned and you're left feeling disappointed? Yeah, we've all been there. This week on the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving deep into how to manage unrealistic expectations and fantasies in your relationships so you can avoid those heartbreaks. We're going to break down how to set realistic standa…
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#256: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Sparks Addictive Relationships
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In this episode of the Black Girls Heal, we’re going to be talking about something really deep today: how what happened to us as kids can mess with our love lives BIG TIME. We're diving into childhood emotional neglect and how it can lead to those addictive relationships we sometimes find ourselves in. It's wild how many of us deal with the fallout…
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#255: Hard Lessons Learned After 10 Years in Love Addiction Recovery
42:23
42:23
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I dive deep into the lessons I've learned over my 10 years of recovery from love addiction. This journey has been incredibly personal and transformative. Many of you have watched and supported me through it all—clients, friends, and those who know me through this podcast. I reflect on the challenges, the growth,…
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive deep into financial codependency—a pattern where you feel obligated to support others financially, even to your own detriment. We explore its roots, how it manifests in various relationships, and the emotional toll it takes. You'll learn about practical steps to break free from this cycle, including a 90…
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In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I talk about the power of "no contact" as a tool to finally break free from toxic relationships. You know how it goes – you finally decide to walk away, but somehow, you end up back in contact with that person who just brings you down. It's frustrating, right? Well, here's the thing: most setbacks in…
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#252: Don’t text them - Sit on Your Hands
40:51
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we revisit the topic of 'No Contact' and the seven-day 'Don't Text Them: Sit on Your Effing Hands Challenge.' This discussion is aimed at those caught in addictive or trauma-bonded relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships. We discuss topics like recognizing toxic relationships, the importance of…
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Join our new free Black Girls Heal Circle Community
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Join our free Black Girls Heal Circle Community for access to: Inspiration and support regarding love addiction, love avoidance, healing trauma and improving your self esteem Access to our free resource library Connect & build sisterhood with other women on their healing journey as well Click here to join the new free Black Girls Heal Circle Commun…
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#251: Surrender and Letting Go (Just Let Them Be)
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we discuss the challenging yet liberating process of surrender and letting go. We explore themes such as grieving, setting boundaries, and focusing on self-love, supported by a poignant poem 'Just Let Them' by Cassie Phillips. We also go into the three key takeaways: realizing you can't control others, being ope…
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In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we discuss the crucial topic of feeling deserving and why it's essential for receiving the love you desire. We explore how internalizing negative beliefs and trauma can lead to feeling undeserving, even when we outwardly affirm our worth. You'll learn practical steps to identify the emotional 'weeds' that choke …
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In today’s episode, we get into the topic of the fear of being seen, exploring the underlying trauma that leads to avoidance behaviors and vulnerability in relationships. We discuss the common thoughts, actions, and patterns that arise when individuals struggle with feeling exposed and unworthy. Additionally, we address the impact of childhood trau…
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#248: Getting Out of the Negative in Relationships
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54:21
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In this episode, I discuss the importance of moving from negative relationship patterns to positive, healed, and love-filled connections. I also talk about the common pitfalls of remaining in negative relational spaces, the impacts of childhood emotional neglect, and the signs of low self-worth. You’ll get to know what it means to reach a baseline …
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#247: 3 Signs You've Grown and Are Healthier
24:09
24:09
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In this episode, let’s discuss the importance of recognizing and celebrating personal growth. Reflecting on past conversations with coaching students, I explore three key signs that show how much you've evolved: pausing before reacting even when hurt, becoming open to alternative viewpoints, and feeling and validating your emotions. Alongside these…
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In this episode, I go over the 4 seasons of healing everyone will go through when healing from unresolved trauma and relationship issues. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled Can’t find a program, …
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#245: The First 3 Steps of Healing Love Avoidance
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In this episode, I review the first 3 steps to heal from love avoidance and the issues that get in the way. Click here to download the free roadmap Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled Can’t find a…
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#244: 4 Ways Family Trauma Will Normalize Emotional Abuse
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33:14
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In this episode, I talk about 4 examples of emotional abuse that may set us up to be vulnerable to love addicted and love avoidant relationships. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled Can’t find a p…
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#243: 3 Ways Love Addicts (Accidentally) Sabotage Their Relationships
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46:46
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As a love addict, it can be easy to slip into pushing away the love we want by holding on a little bit too tightly. In this episode, I review 3 ways that love addicts accidentally sabotage their relationships. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you be…
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#242: 7 Tips to Recover after a Friendship Breakup
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50:53
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This episode for anyone who is experiencing or has experienced a friendship breakup that has been hard to recover from. I hope these 7 tips help you move forward and find friendships that help you feel fulfilled and whole. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program t…
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#241: 3 Ways to Not Be Jaded in Love after Heartbreak
31:42
31:42
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If you've gone through heartbreak and are feeling jaded or "over" love, in this episode I go over 3 ways for you to work through your jadedness to give love a chance again when you're ready. Click here to join the free masterclass Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching p…
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#240: 5 Stages of Healing from Love Addiction
1:00:36
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Every person healing from love addiction goes from 5 stages of feeling stuck and confused to Healed and Loved. In this episode, I review each of these stages, their roadblocks and what one can expect at each stage. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help y…
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#239: Secret Narcissistic Lovebombing Techniques that You Need to Know
51:06
51:06
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In this episode, I review a typically undetectable way that some narcissists love bomb to help those who may be susceptible to this style of seduction be more aware. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulf…
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#238: Reesa Teesa, Settling, and Finding Your Joy
49:24
49:24
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In this episode, Shena talk about why some of us may settle in relationships when we feel they are giving us what we are looking for in spite of warning and danger signs. Join us as our upcoming workshop: Mastering the No Contact Process & Letting Go Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my …
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#237: Top 15 Things I Do to Manage my ADHD (ADD)
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59:26
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I have had to put a lot of measures in place to continue to grow and thrive as a neurodivergent person and use it as my superpower. Per listener request, in this episode, I review the top 15 things I do to help me stay on track with my Adult ADHD. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my sig…
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Hi all! I'm taking a mini break! I'll see y'all in the next episode! Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the up…
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#235: Can I stay friends with my ex as a love addict?
46:00
46:00
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In this episode, Shena goes over 3 questions recovering love addicts can ask themselves if they are wanting to stay friends with an ex? Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled Can’t find a program, fr…
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#234: Overspending, Hoarding, Workaholism, and Financial Codependency (Money Trauma Pt 2)
45:00
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45:00
In this episode, I continue teaching about money trauma and it's intersection into love addiction and love avoidance cycles. Today's episode focuses on Money Hoarding, Compuslive Spending, Workaholism, Financial (Co)dependency & Enabling, and Financial Infidelity. Click here to register for the Heal Your Money Trauma Workshop Ready to heal your Lov…
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#233: Money Trauma and Underearning for Love Addicts & Avoidants
36:59
36:59
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In this episode, Shena talks about money trauma and how it may manifest as underearning - a process that has nothing to do with the amount of money you make but if you are hiding, self sabotaging, or prioritizing others' needs over your own. Click here to register for the Heal Your Money Trauma Workshop Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoi…
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In this episode, Dr. Piper Grant breaks down for us the concept of Mother Hunger and its impact on our lives along with discussing the 3 pillars of motherhood: Nurturance, Guidance, and Protection. CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST Instagram: @dr.pipergrant Website: Numiwellness.com Click here to register for the Cutting Wounds with Your Mother Wounds Click h…
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#230: Dealing with Disappointment from Your Mom as an Adult
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28:31
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In this episode, I talk about managing disappointment from your relationship with your mother as an adult if you have experienced false starts towards intimacy or seen self sabotage on your mother's part. Click here to register for the Cutting Wounds with Your Mother Wounds Click here to see an overview of all Winter Workshops Ready to heal your Lo…
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#229: How to Know You Have a Problem as a Love Addict
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46:05
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In this episode, Shena talks about 3 ways to know that you have a problem as a love addict abd losing yourself versus being a balance and available partner. Apply for the Valentine's Day Scholarship for The Recovery School Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program t…
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#228: When Your Mom is Competitive WIth You
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44:05
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In this episode, Shena discusses how to cope when you have a mother who is competitive with you, the signs of the jealousy and competition, and potential sources of where it may come from. Click here to register for the Cutting Ties with Mother Wounds Workshop Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery S…
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In this episode, Shena discusses healing from codependency to improve your self love and the questions you need to ask yourself to adjust your boundaries. Click here to register for the Building a Self Romance Workshop Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to he…
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#226: Negging is Not Normal (and how to get away from it)
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In this episode, Shena talks about what is negging, how it shows up in relationships and affects our self esteem, why we normalize it, and what to do to change this pattern. Register for the Building Self Love & Feel Fulled Workshop Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching…
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#225: Practicing Healthy Non-Attachment vs Avoidance for Self-Love
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53:22
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In this episode, Shena reviews the differences between being non-attached to others opinions and outcomes versus being avoidant, how this contributes to our self esteem and the trauma that gets in the way of moving in this direction. Get the 2024 Winter Guide Register for the Building Self Love & Feel Fulled Workshop Ready to heal your Love Addicti…
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#224: Getting Ourselves Together in 2024 (Mother Trauma, Men, & Money!)
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30:03
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In today's episode, Shena lays out a Winter series to work through our relationship with ourselves, our mothers, our money, and the men & romantic relationships in our lives. Download the free guide at blackgirlsheal.org/2024 Register for the trauma healing workshops at blackgirlsheal.org/2024 Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Cli…
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#223: [REWIND] You Can't Practice With Unhealthy People
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21:11
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Someone people hang onto people that they shouldn't so they can "practice" their communication and boundary skills on them. In this episode, we're talking about why you shouldn't do that. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, lo…
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In this episode, I talk about 4 tasks I would work with my therapy clients to help heal from love addiction. In this episode, I talk about why these tasks are important for one's growth and healing and moving towards change. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program…
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#221: Online Dating, Vulnerability, & Finding Love with Anwar White
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In this episode, we're joined by Dating Coach Anwar White to talk about all things online dating, living in your boundaries, leading with vulnerability, interracial dating, and more. CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST: Website: GetYourGuyCoaching.com IG: @getyourguy_coaching Tiktok: @datingcoachanwar Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click he…
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December Check In, ADHD, & Affirmations to Focus On
31:15
31:15
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In this episode, I check in and share about my current experience with ADHD, a life update, birthday celebrations, and affirmations I encourage you to focus on going into the New Year. Join the BGH Members Club at blackgirlsheal.org/club Our Sponsors: * Check out ByHeart and use my code BGH for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out OSEA and use my …
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#220: How I Left My Unhealthy Relationship
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39:42
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In this episode, I talk about my experience with love deprivation and how it healing it by taking care of myself helped me heal a previous unhealthy relationship. Dating 101 for Love Addicts: http://blackgirlsheal.org/dating The Love Deprivation Rehab: http://blackgirlsheal.org/lwf Coupon Code: SCHOLARSHIP50 for 50% off EXPIRES: Tues, 11/28/2023 Bu…
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#219: 8 Tips for Going Outside for Love Addicts & Love Avoidants (New Intro + Update)
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43:52
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In this epiosde, Shena talks about 8 tips to assist love avoidants and love addicts who would like to meet new friends and potential partnerships outside of online dating apps. This episode has great tips for everyone no matter if they are single and looking, happily single and not looking, or partnered. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avo…
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In today's episode, Shena talks about 4 tasks that every love avoidant can look to achieve in therapy to becoming more love available and open in relationships. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled…
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#217: 12 Promises of Hope for Love Addict
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1:05:07
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In this episode, Shena reviews 12 promises of hope and healing all love addicts can expect as they heal along their journey Our Sponsors: * Check out ByHeart and use my code BGH for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out Sunbasket: sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL * Check out eHarmony…
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#216: 3 Things to Unlearn After an Unhealthy Relationship
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50:54
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After an unhealthy relationship, we may take some unhealthy beliefs with us. In this episode, I go over 3 things to you may need to unlearn after an unhealthy partnership. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, an…
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#215: Can a Love Addict & Love Avoidant Make it Work? (3 Ways to Move Forward)
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In this episode, Shena talks about can a love addict and love avoidant make it work in a relationship? And if so, the 3 things it takes for them to move forward. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfille…
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In this episode, Shena reviews 7 tips to keep in mind for those who are interested in starting to date post divorce. Click here to enroll in the Dating 101 for Love Addictions Course Coupon Code: TRANSITION for $50 off Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to he…
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Now Introducing The Business of Healing Podcast!
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We are so pleased to introduce the newest addition to the Black Girls Heal & Shena Lashey healing network: The Business of Healing Podcast! In this podcast episode, Shena introduces the inspiration behind this podcast, it's purpose to support other healers, business professionals and entrepreneurs, and a sneak peak at the trailer. Listen to the Bus…
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#213: Is it compatibility or codependency?
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In this episode, Shena discusses how to tell if the connection that you're feeling in a relationship is codependency or compatibility. Register for our upcoming open house Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, an…
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What does it feel like to reach a place of restoration? Past suffering? Past just going through the motions, but actually feeling restored? This episode talks about that experience and what to look out for. Attend the Reclaiming Me Workshop: blackgirlsheal.org/reclaim Get $50 off using the coupon code RECLAIM50 through 10/8/23 Ready to heal your Lo…
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