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Content provided by Emma Sunshaw. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Emma Sunshaw or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation explicit
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Content provided by Emma Sunshaw. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Emma Sunshaw or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.
Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder at age 36, Emma and her system share what they learn along the way about DID, dissociation, trauma, and mental health. Educational, supportive, inclusive, and inspiring, System Speak documents her healing journey through the best and worst of life in recovery through insights, conversations, and collaborations.
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367 episodes
Mark all (un)played …
Manage series 2565540
Content provided by Emma Sunshaw. All podcast content including episodes, graphics, and podcast descriptions are uploaded and provided directly by Emma Sunshaw or their podcast platform partner. If you believe someone is using your copyrighted work without your permission, you can follow the process outlined here https://player.fm/legal.
Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder at age 36, Emma and her system share what they learn along the way about DID, dissociation, trauma, and mental health. Educational, supportive, inclusive, and inspiring, System Speak documents her healing journey through the best and worst of life in recovery through insights, conversations, and collaborations.
…
continue reading
367 episodes
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We give an update on therapy after sharing our symposium artwork in session. To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We share about symposium recovery - and progress! To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We share some of what we learned at the McLean presentation at Harvard. To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

Jon Cleveland shares with us about psychedelic research and HPPD. Jon’s email: jcleveland@mycordell.com To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We read and respond to listener emails. To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation
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We talk with ISSTD clinician Valerie Sinason (UK) about "infantacidal attachment". The "still face experiment" video on YouTube is HERE . The poem we referenced, which we wrote in 2020: In the last week, I watched my 5 year-old daughter's butterflies be born. They came home with us for quarantine, a gift of hope and peace while she herself is dying, while my children miss their friends and watch their sister fade away. The caterpillars crawled in the grime as they learned to spin, then hung themselves from the top of the cup. I know the feeling. The metaphor did not escape me, this therapeutic process of freeze where transformation is required - quarantined in a glass house hanging by a thread nothing the same as it was. Before the chrysalis there was a shedding of skin I recognized as a shedding of me. For all I have learned the last four years about integration, I thought the debate was between brownies and fruit salad, as if I would get to choose my last meal. But all of it was grime. So I pretended to grow wings while you locked me away. I wrapped myself in dissociation like a cocoon of worlds inside. I never invited you in here. No one warned me how sticky it was. I watched their backbone start to form like scales that fell away like therapy talking away. Therapy was taking away my dissociation while I fought to lock myself in it. If you have any heart at all, you want to reach out to reach in to touch to help them free the hardened shell. But you cannot. Because that wriggling work is what makes them strong is what sets them free is what makes me Me. And I know how cold and lonely it is in there, in here, where I am, where no one goes no one sees no one knows. You promise wings. You promise freedom. You promise flying free. But all I remember is the grime. And all I know is the crawling through filth. And all I see is that I have hung myself here vulnerably to be stared at and gawked at and not touched while I am frozen and cold and hanging here not who I was and not yet free. You say no parts left behind or lost or abandoned. But I see my shell laying there where I once crawled. And these wings still sticky don't feel like mine. And I can't yet fly. You flick at my net to show me that I can like a bird pushing its baby out of the nest and it hurts me betrays me stings me scares me. Except you don't push too hard and I feel you wait while I don't want to leave. I would rather hang myself there where being frozen has always kept me safe. I am uncomfortable with so many changes and didn't know I would come out looking so different than how I crawled in. I cling to the net because you taught me how to be grounded. And I have always known how to shelter-in-place. I can see the outside world where everyone else lives, but I don't at all like you sending me away to go live there. Because I do not know how to live. I know how to crawl. I know how to hang. It makes me angry at you (even though I am not) when you try to send me away from the place where I hung away from where my shadow still stays away from where my shell lies. I don't know if you understand that still feels like me and the cocoon still feels safer and the sun is still too bright for my eyes. I am drying out my wings and saying goodbye while you unzip my world to shoo me out so I can fly because you say I was meant for the sky. But all I remember is the grime and how to crawl. And I don't understand why you don't understand that I don't actually know how to fly. But what I do know more than you know I know is that there is no going back and that I am relieved to have the sticky washed off of me. (I know, I know. You never said I had to leave. But I can't stay here looking at the shell of me.) Emma Sunshaw, May 2020 To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE . To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The “weeping camel” video is HERE . The referenced article is HERE . To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE . To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE . To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE . To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The referenced article is HERE . Social Media referenced (shared with consent): Kit - @squidont on TikTok To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We discuss “infanticidal attachment” with Jules. The "still face experiment" video on YouTube is HERE . The referenced article is HERE . To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We share an update from therapy, about learning how memory time and now time connect through re-enactments… and start looking at Memory Time where the pain is. Note: This therapy session happened three days after the last session where we did the four questions that helped me see how Memory Time invades Now Time. I thought I was going in to my therapy session to talk about the hard conversations in Now Time, and my therapist helped me see roots of where Memory Time invades - which ultimately was a bridge that leads directly to the disorganized attachment pieces we will share starting next week. Also, the song at the end of this episode was the LGBTQIA+ PRIDE theme last summer, because so many of us feel isolated from family and caregivers simply because of who we are. It was fun and peppy, hiding the big feelings in the lyrics - like a song in drag. I slowed it down and added the sad tone to emphasize congruence between music and lyrics. It is not meant to be literal. To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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System Speak: Dissociative Identity Disorder ( Multiple Personality Disorder ), Complex Trauma , and Dissociation

We explain attachment wounds. The "still face experiment" video on YouTube is HERE . To submit an email to the podcast: emmasunshaw@gmail.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to the nature of what is being shared here in general. Content descriptors are generally given in each episode. Specific trigger warnings are not given due to research reporting this makes triggers worse. Please use appropriate self-care and your own safety plan while exploring this website and during your listening experience. Natural pauses due to dissociation have not been edited out of the podcast, and have been left for authenticity. While some professional material may be referenced for educational purposes, Emma and her system are not your therapist nor offering professional advice. Any informational material shared or referenced is simply part of our own learning process, and not guaranteed to be the latest research or best method for you. Please contact your therapist or nearest emergency room in case of any emergency. This website does not provide any medical, mental health, or social support services. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★…
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