Ruthie Bowles | Fight, Flight, & Freeze: Sexual Assault in the Military

Grieving Voices

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Ruthie Bowles shares her story of being raped not once but twice during her time serving in the U.S. Army full-time. The first assault occurred at the hands of her then-boyfriend. The second time she was assaulted was the very day she came back from deployment.
Surviving a deployment, only to come home and be assaulted in her own private space, along with the previous assault, set Ruthie up for a long road of healing.
Between her first case never being resolved, leaving her to feel defeated and made to feel like a victim all over again, she never gave it a second thought to not report the second assault. Besides, she was higher ranking and, she had already learned, from her first experience, that the process of reporting was painful and yielded zero justice.
Ruthie shares how these experiences impacted her decisions moving forward, how she nearly lost the love of her life, and how her experiences influence how she parents her children.
There is something to learn for everyone in this episode. We discuss:

• Fight, Flight, & Freeze; you never know what you'll do in a situation until you find yourself in it.
• Shame and sexual assault.
• The revictimization sexual assault victims are often subjected to after reporting - and even by well-meaning friends.
• Red flags in relationships.
• The mind-mess that happens when consent isn't given.
• Her transition from military to civilian life after these experiences.
• Tips for how she began to heal.
• Things to look out for in friends who may have something they're afraid to share, specifically a sexual assault.
• Military sexual assault stats.
• Why the phrase "boys are easier to raise than girls" drives her nuts and the one thing many parents of boys are probably missing when it comes to the "sex talk."

Resources Mentioned/Worth Mentioning:

• S.H.A.R.P. (Sexual Harassment/Assault Response and Prevention)
• Army Soldier & Family Support Information
• Dec. 2020 Sexual Assault in the Military Article
• 20/20 Episode: I AM Vanessa Guillen
• National Sexual Assault Telephone Hotline

Need help?
Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.

Connect with Ruthie:

• Website

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