Healing Toxic Shame with Shain Kish

Sober Curious

My guest on today’s episode is Shain Kish – who is a long-time member of the Sober Curious community, and my co-moderator in the "Sober Curious Book" Facebook group.

Shain was the first person to ever show up at a Sober Curious writers group I used to host, and he found my work having been searching for ways to think about quitting drinking that actually spoke to him. He has gone on to use a “harm reduction” approach to addressing his alcohol and drug abuse, and he explains here what this has looked like in his life.

The thing I love about Shain's attitude is that he is all about being gentle with yourself, being patient, and giving yourself the compassion that you need as you figure this stuff out. in the episode we discuss:

-His experience of growing up in a bar (the family business) and how this shaped his approach to drinking

-Being drawn to bar and club culture because it felt like “home”

-Alcohol as a form of “therapy” for people who don’t have access to mental health services

-Choosing not to judge his past behavior – and how all our experiences make us who we are

-Different substances he’s used and the different impact they have had on him

-Asking: who am I without booze? And who do I want to be?

-Being a “party person” as part of his professional persona

-Why it takes time, trial, and error to find your way as a non-drinker

-The difference between being an alcoholic and somebody who sometimes abuses alcohol

-Why confronting his childhood trauma was the only way to address his substance abuse

-Why sobriety is easier than moderation (and why moderation never really works)

-Why navigating shame has been a foundational piece of his sober curious journey

You can connect with Shain in the "Sober Curious Book" Facebook group and follow him on Instagram @shainoffools

Big thanks to Grüvi for partnering on this episode. Order at Getgruvi.com and use the code “Sobercurious10” to get 10% off your first online order

And shout out to Curious Elixirs for supporting also. Order at Curiouselixirs.com and get $10 off orders over $50 with the code RUBY22