Go offline with the Player FM app!
Dr Everett Worthington on promoting forgiveness in every willing heart, home and homeland (10#)
Manage episode 298242677 series 2955384
2:12 - started as a nuclear engineer.
3:14 - Ev's mission is to do all I can to promote forgiveness in every willing heart, home and homeland.
4:16 - why is forgiveness so important to you?
6:01 - why is forgiveness so hard?
8:05 - what causes hurt.
9:28 - what is justice.
10:07 - both revenge and reconciliation is required for survival.
11:00 - the consequences of holding onto a grudge.
12:04 - spiritual consequences of holding onto grudges.
12:18 - mental health consequences of grudges.
13:33 - impact on physical health.
15:54 - does forgiveness let the other person off the hook?
16:30 - two types of forgiveness.
17:38 - you can forgive too early.
17:56 - you can both forgive and hold them accountable.
18:17 - the hardest thing Ev has forgiven.
18:43 - there are some things that I just don't think I can forgive.
19:10 - all events are forgivable.
19:18 - injustice gaps.
20:23 - forgiveness is not the only way to deal with injustice.
21:23 - REACH forgiveness model.
22:03 - R: Recall the hurt.
22:32 - E: Empathise.
23:32 - A: Altruistic gift. Forgiveness is not something anyone deserves.
24:11 - C: Commit
24:21 - H: Hold onto the commitment to forgive when I doubt.
24:51 - feeling angry doesn't mean you haven't forgiven.
25:46 - repeat offenders.
27:35 - Christian view on forgiveness.
28:16 - applying the empathy step of REACH.
29:46 - what to do when we're the offender.
30:31 - make it right with what you hold sacred.
30:51 - make it right with the person.
31:12 - CONFESS model for the offender.
31:26 - C: Confess without excuse.
31:47 - O: Offer an apology.
31:59 - N: Note the other person's pain.
32:09 - F: Forever value the person.
32:35 - E: Equalize.
32:46 - S: Say 'never again'.
32:58 - S: Seek forgiveness.
33:19 - make it right psychologically with yourself.
33:46 - use REACH to forgive yourself.
34:29 - hardest step: accept myself.
34:56 - struggle with self acceptance is what keeps psychotherapists in business.
35:12 - last step: live virtuously.
35:22 - Ev's personal experience with self forgiveness.
40:59 - it's hardest to help the people closest to us.
43:13 - helping a country to forgive: contribution in South Africa after Apartheid.
45:39 - difference between personal and group forgiveness.
48:00 - the difference one person can make through forgiveness.
48:20 - forgiveness research has taken off in recent years due to international need for reconciliation.
49:54 - the role humility plays in forgiveness.
50:19 - what humility actually is.
53:35 - free resources for forgiveness and humility.
53:44 - how to get in touch with Ev.
54:25 - final thank you.
More detailed show notes with links and references can be found at: https://candourpodcast.com/dr-everett-worthington/
52 episodes
Manage episode 298242677 series 2955384
2:12 - started as a nuclear engineer.
3:14 - Ev's mission is to do all I can to promote forgiveness in every willing heart, home and homeland.
4:16 - why is forgiveness so important to you?
6:01 - why is forgiveness so hard?
8:05 - what causes hurt.
9:28 - what is justice.
10:07 - both revenge and reconciliation is required for survival.
11:00 - the consequences of holding onto a grudge.
12:04 - spiritual consequences of holding onto grudges.
12:18 - mental health consequences of grudges.
13:33 - impact on physical health.
15:54 - does forgiveness let the other person off the hook?
16:30 - two types of forgiveness.
17:38 - you can forgive too early.
17:56 - you can both forgive and hold them accountable.
18:17 - the hardest thing Ev has forgiven.
18:43 - there are some things that I just don't think I can forgive.
19:10 - all events are forgivable.
19:18 - injustice gaps.
20:23 - forgiveness is not the only way to deal with injustice.
21:23 - REACH forgiveness model.
22:03 - R: Recall the hurt.
22:32 - E: Empathise.
23:32 - A: Altruistic gift. Forgiveness is not something anyone deserves.
24:11 - C: Commit
24:21 - H: Hold onto the commitment to forgive when I doubt.
24:51 - feeling angry doesn't mean you haven't forgiven.
25:46 - repeat offenders.
27:35 - Christian view on forgiveness.
28:16 - applying the empathy step of REACH.
29:46 - what to do when we're the offender.
30:31 - make it right with what you hold sacred.
30:51 - make it right with the person.
31:12 - CONFESS model for the offender.
31:26 - C: Confess without excuse.
31:47 - O: Offer an apology.
31:59 - N: Note the other person's pain.
32:09 - F: Forever value the person.
32:35 - E: Equalize.
32:46 - S: Say 'never again'.
32:58 - S: Seek forgiveness.
33:19 - make it right psychologically with yourself.
33:46 - use REACH to forgive yourself.
34:29 - hardest step: accept myself.
34:56 - struggle with self acceptance is what keeps psychotherapists in business.
35:12 - last step: live virtuously.
35:22 - Ev's personal experience with self forgiveness.
40:59 - it's hardest to help the people closest to us.
43:13 - helping a country to forgive: contribution in South Africa after Apartheid.
45:39 - difference between personal and group forgiveness.
48:00 - the difference one person can make through forgiveness.
48:20 - forgiveness research has taken off in recent years due to international need for reconciliation.
49:54 - the role humility plays in forgiveness.
50:19 - what humility actually is.
53:35 - free resources for forgiveness and humility.
53:44 - how to get in touch with Ev.
54:25 - final thank you.
More detailed show notes with links and references can be found at: https://candourpodcast.com/dr-everett-worthington/
52 episodes
All episodes
×Welcome to Player FM!
Player FM is scanning the web for high-quality podcasts for you to enjoy right now. It's the best podcast app and works on Android, iPhone, and the web. Signup to sync subscriptions across devices.