137: Talking About Your Body in Relationships with Rob Issa

Thrive Beyond Size

Friends, remember when I had my husband, Rob Issa, on the podcast a few weeks ago? We talked about navigating our different health goals within our relationship, among other things, and that episode was so well received. I knew I had to have Rob back for another discussion, a part two. So Rob is my guest today and we’re talking about when partners no longer find their spouse attractive after years of marriage or partnership. Specifically when one partner blames weight or weight gain for the change in attraction. It’s so easy, as a woman, to just say “men are assholes” but Rob’s here to talk it out because I suspect it’s more nuanced than that.

This is a complex issue and very triggering, admittedly. Struggling with body image lends itself to not feeling attractive which might put off the partner. Or the partner being disinterested may exacerbate body image issues and lead to feelings of lesser attraction. Or one partner may be feeling something else altogether, a deeper issue, something that should be addressed but is difficult, and it becomes just easier to blame weight as the reason for lack of attraction. Rob and I talk about it all. We talk about men and trophy brides, women’s body image issues, men’s body image issues, inability to be vulnerable, using weight as a deflection tool, sincerely losing attraction and not knowing how to express it. We tackle all the rough and thorny issues. What we ultimately learn is that communication is necessary and not done nearly enough. We need to learn, as partners, as spouses, as intimate pairs, to talk about our bodies and our thoughts about each other’s bodies. As you’ll hear, it’s not easy to do. And yet undoubtedly the key is always going to be shedding light on the hidden issue below what’s said on the surface. Join us as we wade into the subject of blaming diminishing attraction on weight.

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Learn more about Dr. Michelle Tubman and Wayza Health:

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