In part 1 of my conversation with Monica Basco, Ph.D., Exploring the intersection of perfectionism, procrastination, and performance, we discussed the following topics: Perfectionism and high-achieving behaviors Understanding the impact of high goals The role of confidence in goal setting The intersection of perfectionism and procrastination In thi…

Drop your standards! Let go of your perfectionistic tendencies! If I were paid a dollar every time I heard this message, I would have a large bank account by now. When you’re pursuing a top performance – from athletic to intellectual to artistic ones – it’s fundamental that you distinguish those common principles that improve your performance and y…

Perfectionism isn’t a personality quirk. It’s a pattern of reinforced behaviors that can seep into every aspect of your life. You may set certain standards for yourself, certain rules about how things are supposed to be or how you are supposed to behave; while you may meet those standards for a while, they eventually - and inevitably - fall short. …

Today’s episode takes off with discussing fears of driving. This is the starting point to discuss a key process within acceptance commitment therapy: values-based exposures. In this episode, you will learn the principles to approach your fears, worries, and anxieties in a flexible way and in the service of your values. Brian Thompson, Ph.D. and I c…

Ever catch yourself engaging in incessant mind chatter in a high-stakes situation? The kind that fills your head with self-doubt, comparisons, and anticipations of failure? You're not alone. We all do it. But what if there was a way to overcome these self-limiting beliefs and embrace life's challenges with confidence? I had a chance to talk to Dr. …

Picture this scenario: you encounter an ambiguous and uncertain situation, and then, of course, you quickly try to solve it. You anticipate all types of scenarios and try to prepare for each one of them, without realizing you are worrying and consumed with anxiety. Worry is primarily a thought-based process, and that’s what makes it tricky. Unpacki…

We all experience anxiety in some form, in some way, and in some shape. Because anxiety, fears, and worries can be so uncomfortable, we quickly play-it-safe. And when you’re prone to deeply caring for what you do - as high-achievers, strivers, and perfectionists - then the fears of being a failure or not being good enough are amplified. In this con…

Do you find yourself anxiously anticipating rejection in everyday situations? The fear of being rejected or judged leads to a hyper-awareness of others' facial expressions, opinions, or anticipation of rejection. It’s like you’re expecting others will reject you and interpret a situation using those lenses. This interplay between rejection sensitiv…

Self-compassion is the willingness to respond to your pain and suffering in the same way a good friend of yours might–with warmth, patience, and understanding. That sounds easy, right? But you know it isn’t. For many, self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. It’s like your mind is a champion at criticizing you in response to those moments …

It was a true pleasure to discover the work and passion of Sonya Looney; her enthusiasm, laughs, and insights are contagious! There are many golden nuggets in this conversation about skillfully managing comparison thoughts, rumination, self-doubt, shame, values-based strategies, and much more. Key Takeaways The mindset of an athlete The upsides and…

This is part 2 of my conversation with Dr. Matthew McKay, Ph.D. In part 1, we discussed the foundations of how Dr. McKay thinks of process-based therapy. Today, we discuss, in particular, different mechanisms of action: What is attentional training How to look at your values when getting stressed How to practice acceptance How to handle uncertainty…

If anxiety is a part of our day to day life, if we hold on to the framework that to be human is to be anxious, how did anxiety ever become a problem? How do you go from worrying about not being good enough to chronic states of worry? How do you go from feeling uncomfortable taking the elevator to developing an elevator phobia? What maintains a psyc…

Do you remember last week when your mind was criticizing you and asking you to play-it-safe? Using Acceptance and Commitment Skills, you are always invited to bring awareness to your internal experiences, especially when you are feeling stuck in a habit or unhelpful behavioral patterns such as overthinking, procrastinating, or others. You are also …

When was the last time you had a social mishap in a conversation? Do you remember how it feels to say the wrong thing at the wrong time? If you’re a shy person or are struggling with social anxiety or social perfectionism, you are holding onto the beliefs that you must sound smart, interesting, or funny; that there should never be awkward silences …

Our minds are amazing at many, many things. Our minds are capable of remembering the birthday of the ones we love, calculating a budget for our next trip, thinking about our next writing project, and coming up with questions for a podcast. Our minds are also capable of ruminating, dwelling, coming up with strange thoughts, announcing all types of b…

When was the last time you had an aha moment in which your next steps were clear? Do you remember how it is to be in the midst of a difficult situation, and then, have clarity of what you need to do? If you pay attention to your experiences, you may notice those aha moments in which your choices are clear - you will be able to clearly see what you …

In this second part of my conversation with Andrew Nalband, we discussed in detail how he manages all the noise that shows up in his head, what has worked, and what hasn’t when dealing with a tendency to do things right and perfectly. Key Takeaways Why meditation/mindfulness practices matter The influence of cell phones on our thinking The differen…

There is nothing wrong with striving to do things right and perfectly. It depends on how often you do it, when you do it, and how it works in your life in the long run. What is unhealthy is demanding perfectionism, which involves demanding that you are perfect and do things perfectly, otherwise, you may think of yourself as unworthy, not good enoug…

Stress is nearly unavoidable in our daily lives. Unexpected things can happen to all of us, and often, we may choose to play-it-safe by working harder and harder, doing more and more. I am sharing today an interview with Espree Devora. Espree has been recently featured in INC Magazine as one of the top 30 women in tech to follow and is known as “Th…

Have you ever been struggling emotionally and a partner, colleague or caregiver overlooked you or made you feel worse? “I would have never let that happen,” is uttered or implied. Or an important other misses your emotional needs altogether and just focuses on themselves. When this invalidation or dismissal happens in a key relationship or two repe…

Have you ever gone to the emergency room? Have you ever thought of how emergency doctors face stress? Have you ever considered how an emergency doctor manages anxiety as part of their work life? Today, I’m sharing with you the interview with Dr. Mark Hoffman, M.D., a board certified emergency physician, with over 30 years of practice. It was a trea…

Can’t make up your mind about marrying your girlfriend or not? Can’t make up your mind about the TV you need to buy? Can’t make up your mind about staying or quitting your job? If the prospect of making a decision makes you feel overwhelmed and paralyzed, then you need to listen to this episode! In this episode, Dr. Sally Winston, Psy.D. and I disc…

How often do you assume the worst-case-scenario when facing a difficult situation? When was the last time someone invited you to a party, and you started worrying about it months in advance? Do you stress about situations that have not happened yet? Anybody can learn how our minds work and how to work with them. When we are dealing with worries, an…

This is part 2 of my interview with Todd Kashdan, Ph.D. Key Takeaways How to persuade others skillfully How intolerance and speed of uncertainty feed into rigid thinking The connection between persuasion skills and acceptance and commitment skills The difference between task-oriented problem solving and relationship problems What is cognitive diver…

Have you ever played-it-safe by keeping your opinions to yourself? When was the last time you felt afraid of social rejection that you did not say what you really thought about a topic in fear of rocking the boat? How often do you play-it-safe by placating and going along with others' opinions so you are liked by others? Group thinking, agreeing qu…

Have you ever been caught in a spiral of self-criticism? When was the last time your inner critic took over your day? We all have stories we’ve created about ourselves - some of them positive and some of them negative. If you suffer from low self-esteem, your story may include these types of narratives: “I’m a failure,” “I’ll never be able to do th…

Resilience is usually understood as the process and the outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences (American Psychological Association (APA)). In the information era, being exposed to all types of stressors is the norm and not the exception. We may struggle to learn how to deal with a world that moves fast, pressu…

60% of people dealing with depression are likely to be dealing with anxiety. If you're anxious, you are also likely to be depressed. In the case of fear-based struggles, it is much more common to struggle with different types of fears than a single one. So if you’re dealing with attacks, it’s also possible that you're dealing with chronic worry, or…

Self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. We criticize ourselves as a way to think that we're going to be able to control the situation, control ourselves, and control circumstances in order to feel safe. How does it really work for you when you spend hours and hours criticizing yourself? How does it really work when you try to motivate you…

Are you an overachiever? Some perfectionistic traits - e.g., being hardworking or paying attention to details - can be extremely handy. But what happens when you don’t do things in moderation and feel compelled to do more and more, do everything right, and avoid mistakes? In this episode, I chat with Clarissa Ong, Ph.D., about her work on perfectio…

To be human is to experience worry, fear, anxiety, and stress. To be human is to play-it-safe. But how do you handle those internal reactions when encountering life-threatening situations? What if being exposed to those unusual situations is part of your day-to-day life? Today, I share a special interview with Lance Morrison, former Captain Police …

This is a super special interview with one of my favorite colleagues and author, Jonathan Kaplan, author of “Urban Mindfulness.” In this conversation we discussed: One of Jonathan’s favorite mindfulness exercises: sending warm wishes to people around you Why playing-it-safe behaviors are natural What is a playing-it-safe move Two skills to distingu…

Subscribe to the Playing-it-safe Newsletter: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Have you ever felt anxious when driving? Have you ever had a panic attack? Have you ever felt an unexpected tingling sensation in your arm? Do you know how it feels when running a marathon? Have you ever pushed your body beyond your limits? In all…

In today’s episode of the Playing-It-Safe podcast, Dr. Z. and Lou Lasprugrato, MFT, discuss the various Acceptance and Commitment Skills (ACT) and how they apply to our day-to-day life. ACT skills are applicable not just for therapy or coaching but as a way of living life. At the end of the day, real change happens by taking action, one action afte…

Michael P. Twohig, Ph.D. is the co-director of the ACT Research Group, a licensed psychologist in the state of Utah, and a Professor of Psychology at Utah State University. In this episode, I chat with Michael about his research on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) on perfectionism, we discuss in particular, one of the papers published in his…

Self-criticism is a classic playing-it-safe move. What are the harsh criticisms that your mind come up with? How do you handle them? Do you try to replace them with positive thoughts? Do you do more with your life? Do you try to prove yourself that you are an okay person? I ask all these questions to Dr. Christopher Willard, an expert on mindfulnes…

Dealing effectively with anxiety and the discomfort that comes with it is a fundamental skill. It allows you to do what you care about and excel in life, especially when facing unfamiliar situations or unpleasant moments. In this episode, I interviewed Dr. Joel Minden. ​​He is the director of the Chico Center for Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Diploma…

Do you deeply care about what you do that you don't measure what it takes you to accomplish a goal? Are you a very conscientious person that struggles to do things that are not-good-enough? Are you super-committed to the projects you participate in that you forget to eat, sleep, or hang out with your friends at times? Are you often preoccupied with…

When you transition from high school to college – as it’s called in the United States – or to a University – as it’s called in other parts of the world, such as South America or Europe – you go through a significant life adjustment. As exciting as it is, there are also a lot of changes happening at once: you need to introduce yourself to new people…

Today I have the pleasure to share an interview with Natasha Daniels, MFT, a mental health clinician, author, podcaster and founder of the community AT Parenting. In our conversation, Natasha and I talked about different playing-it-safe moves when dealing with the fear of social rejection or not fitting in with others. This is a raw and honest conv…

One way in which we play-it-safe is by delaying projects, tasks, and shooting for perfection. In this conversation, visual illustrator, Janis Ozolins, shares how he handles self-doubtful thoughts, perfectionist tendencies, and negative feedback when sharing his illustrations on his platform. It was special to hear from Janis how he, as a content cr…

Repetitive negative thinking (RNT) is a core feature of generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and depression. Recently, some studies have shown promising results with brief protocols of acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) focused on RNT in the treatment of emotional disorders in adults. The current study analyzes the effect of an individual, 3-ses…

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). Cognitive Behavior Therapy traditionally has been focused on delivering specific treatment protocols for specific struggles; for instance, if you were dealing with fears of public speaking as we see in social anxiety, then there was a treatment protocol for you t…

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). Cognitive Behavior Therapy traditionally has been focused on delivering specific treatment protocols for specific struggles; for instance, if you were dealing with fears of public speaking as we see in social anxiety, then there was a treatment protocol for you t…

How to cultivate loneliness & why it is important to do so: Most people are uncomfortable with loneliness because it means facing yourself without distractions. But, as much as you don’t like it, you can learn from it and perhaps even cultivate it. Sometimes, without realizing and other times, intentionally. We do all types of things to avoid feeli…

“The average human lifespan is absurd, terrifying, insultingly short. But that isn’t a reason for unremitting despair or for living in an anxiety-fueled panic about making the most of your limited time. It’s a cause for relief. You get to give up on something that was always impossible - the quest to become the optimized, infinitely capable, emotio…

It was an honor to chat with Oliver Burkeman, columnist for the Guardian, journalist by training, and author of the books: “4000 weeks: time management for mortals and happiness: the antidote for people who can’t stand positive thinking.” I have been following Oliver’s work for years and had so many questions to ask him, but of course, there were t…

Are you getting in the way of your own best life? One of the ways in which many of us get in the way of our best life is by playing it safe. You might be playing it safe if you ... - Get stuck thinking doom and gloom scenarios - Ask others what to do so you don’t make a mistake - Feel like an imposter despite all your accomplishments - Doubt your c…

Are you worried about making poor financial decisions? Have you ever felt ashamed of your finances? How do you relate to money? Financial anxiety is real for most of us. Quite often we do play-it-safe by avoiding financial decisions, predicting gloom and doom scenarios about potential decisions or we get paralyzed with what-if financial scenarios. …

We often have mechanistic views about ourselves “I’m bad, ugly, stupid, etc” and believe that when having any negative thoughts, painful memories feeling or they need to be fixed, repaired, or replaced. At times we believe that we lack “confidence” or “self-esteem”. But what if our internal experiences are just that, internal experiences. What if w…