Best Jay Stringer Podcasts (2024)

1
Episode 238: The Problems with Lies Young Women Believe by Dannah Gresh and Nancy Wolgemuth 1:41:05

1h ago1:41:05

1:41:05

Why is a frequenty-used book in teen girls' Bible studies focusing on Satan and not Jesus? A deep dive into the book Lies Young Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Dannah Gresh. Let's see what is being taught to teen girls--and why it's so problematic. We can do better, church! Get our Downloadable One Sheet of the problems with the book Li…

1
Restoration After Porn Relapse (with Rocky Pisor) 40:36

3d ago40:36

40:36

How do you pursue restoration after a relapse, especially in marriage or ministry leadership? Rocky Pisor tells his own story of processing a porn relapse after 17 years of sobriety. You'll learn how to notice the warning signs of impending relapse, and how to respond to relapse with curiosity and compassion rather than punishing yourself or preten…

1
Episode 237: Do We Have to Frame All Dads as Heroes? 1:07:51

7d ago1:07:51

1:07:51

Every Father’s Day, there’s a rallying cry in many conservative evangelical spaces that men are losing out and fathers are under attack. Where’s the truth in this? And what are the problems with talking about marriage like this? Plus we rewrite Harrison Butker’s commencement speech! Thanks to our sponsor, the book The Sex Talk You Never Got by Sam …

1
It's Good To Be Aroused (with Sam Jolman) 46:24

10d ago46:24

46:24

"There is nothing inherently wrong with an aroused man." What is arousal? Why is it good? Sam Jolman helps us reclaim the heart of masculine sexuality for the purpose of awe, play, and worshipping God. You'll learn how arousal always has a script, why evil hates arousal, and the difference between sexuality and sensuality. At the end, you'll receiv…

1
Episode 236: The Sex Talk You Never Got with Sam Jolman 1:01:53

14d ago1:01:53

1:01:53

What if purity culture didn’t just steal sexual health from women, but stole it from men too? What does it mean for a man to have healthy sexuality? Today licensed counselor Sam Jolman joins us for The Sex Talk You Never Got. To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work For tax deductible donations in the U.S., su…

1
Freedom From Gay Porn (LIVE) 1:00:44

17d ago1:00:44

1:00:44

Why do I struggle with gay porn? What does freedom look like? How can I stop using gay porn? In this episode, I answer these questions based on years of research and helping hundreds of men achieve lasting freedom from gay porn. Recommended resources (including paid links): Healing And Recovery: Perspective For Young Men With Sexualized Attachments…

1
How Childhood Experiences Shape Sexual Development (with Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt) 30:08

24d ago30:08

30:08

What's the point of processing childhood experiences? In this special episode recorded live at the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit, Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt share insights and stories about how processing childhood experiences can help you outgrow porn. Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew i…

1
Why We Sexualize Emotions And How To Desexualize Them 26:37

1M ago26:37

26:37

Why do we sexualize emotions, and how can we desexualize them? In this episode, I explain what it looks like to "right-size" sexual energy through processing emotions and releasing trauma. Free tools to process emotions: Feelings And Needs Wheel Feelings And Needs Inventory Ready to release some trauma? Come to the Husband Material Retreat in Color…

1
155 Why Engaging Your Story Heals Your Brain 39:34

1M ago39:34

39:34

My invitation to you today is simple: to take your story seriously. Engaging your story is the single most important thing you can do to experience healing. When I say "your story," I'm talking more about the individual scenes than the overarching narrative of your life. Your stories—particularly your stories of heartache or harm—have shaped your b…

1
Overcoming Sexual Entitlement (with Noah Filipiak) 39:46

1M ago39:46

39:46

What happens when you feel entitled to sex and treat your wife like a replacement for porn? In this episode, Noah Filipiak tells his story of overcoming sexual entitlement and objectification. Along the way, he unpacks the false promises of purity culture, what love really looks like, how God's grace changes us, and the power of gratitude. Noah Fil…

1
154 What Grief Is, How It Heals, and the Pain of Loneliness with J.S. Park 45:35

1M ago45:35

45:35

In “As Long As You Need,” author J.S. Park writes that “Grief is not about letting go, but about letting in.” Letting in sorrow, letting in anger, and especially letting in other people who can be WITH us in our pain. This episode is about all kinds of grief—not merely the grief of losing a loved one. One of Joon Park’s main points is that we often…

1
Hope And Healing For Sexless Marriage (with Adam and Karissa King) 40:45

2M ago40:45

40:45

What is the definition of sexless marriage? Why do couples experience this? Sexless marriage is often a symptom of deeper psychosomatic issues. Adam and Karissa teach practical tools to build a sexful marriage through vulnerability, intimacy, and safe touch. This episode can also help couples for whom intercourse is painful or not possible. Adam an…

1
Episode 235: Wolves, Chimpanzees, and Deer: Let’s confront the Alpha Male Myth 1:01:56

2M ago1:01:56

1:01:56

Evangelical conservatives too often portray masculinity as if men are supposed to be the “Alpha male”—aloof, emotionless, vying for control, and bullying. Today we look at how, even in nature, this concept of the Alpha Male has been overblown. And we present a better picture. To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support ou…

1
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Respond To A Story (Part 4) 1:03:04

2M ago1:03:04

1:03:04

How do you respond to someone else's story with curiosity and compassion? In part 4 of this 4 part series, Marcus Spaur shares his story: "If I Only Could Have Been..." If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Reco…

1
Episode 234: Pastors’ Wives Spill the Tea on Church Life—and the search for authenticity and friendship 1:06:54

2M ago1:06:54

1:06:54

Church is messy. Friendships are hard to find. Life in a fishbowl is awkward. But what if…it’s worth it? Such a great convo with Stephanie, Jessica, and Jenna about their new book Pastors’ Wives Tell All! Whether you're a pastors' wife, or a female pastor yourself, living life in a fishbowl can be hard. We talk about parenting, marriage, and findin…

1
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Write A Story (Part 3) 42:22

2M ago42:22

42:22

How do you write a story about your trauma and sexual experiences? In part 3 of this 4-part series, Wendell Moss shares his story: "Sex & Sexuality" If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Dre…

1
Episode 233: The Backlash from Those Defending Purity Culture feat. Zachary Wagner 1:04:54

2M ago1:04:54

1:04:54

With the release of so many books critiquing purity culture, what has the backlash been like? Well, let’s talk about it with Zachary Wagner, the author of Non-Toxic Masculinity as we celebrate the one-year anniversary of the launch of She Deserves Better. To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work For tax deduct…

1
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: Why We Do Story Work (Part 2) 33:36

2M ago33:36

33:36

Why is story work absolutely essential for men outgrowing porn? In part 2 of this 4 part series, Chris Inman shares his story: "The Lonely Walk." If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew i…

1
Episode 232: When Submission "Cults" Groom for Abuse: One Woman's Story 1:03:43

2M ago1:03:43

1:03:43

We've got such a compelling interview with Lauren Rose from Called to Peace Ministries. She's telling her story--and it's a mesmerizing one--of what happened as her family got more and more into the Bill Gothard movement (and she was eventually one of the ones he allegedly abused, and was part of the lawsuit). But when you grow up feeling like your…

1
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: What Is Story Work? (Part 1) 40:59

2M ago40:59

40:59

What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces." If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Dre…

1
Episode 231: Are We Saying that Wives Don't Have to Have Sex? 51:14

3M ago51:14

51:14

When we talk about how God made sex to be mutual, intimate, and pleasurable for both, and how, if women don't want sex, the answer is to figure out why, we invariably get people saying, "so you think women don't have to have sex then?" Today on the podcast we look at the 90% problem vs. the 10% problem. In 90% of cases where women don't want sex, t…

1
Porn and Inner Healing Prayer 21:23

3M ago21:23

21:23

What is inner healing prayer, and how can it help men outgrow porn? This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.com Resources for Inner Healing Prayer: Streams of Healing: Finding Your Way to Wholeness with Key Leaders in the Inne…

1
153 How Your Past Story Affects Your Present Sexuality with Jay Stringer 50:28

3M ago50:28

50:28

I am joined today by author Jay Stringer to talk about sexual stuckness/difficulties/pain. Healthy sexuality is deeply tied to the degree to which we have made sense of our story in our family of origin. Sadly, so few of us have ever been asked to connect the dots between our past life story and the sexual difficulties we face in the present. Today…

1
Episode 230: Why Evangelical Honeymoons Go So Badly feat. Jay Stringer 56:45

3M ago56:45

56:45

Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide. There was no emphasis on how she actually …

1
Porn and Polyvagal Theory (with John Kilmer) 23:56

3M ago23:56

23:56

What is Polyvagal Theory? How can it help men outgrow porn? John Kilmer skillfully describes the autonomic nervous system and how to (re)shape it in order to experience regulation without unwanted sexual behavior. John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. John has completed the Foundati…

1
Episode 229: A Victim-Centered Approach to Forgiveness After Trauma 56:26

3M ago56:26

56:26

Forgiveness is so often weaponized against victims in the church. But what does the Bible really say about forgiveness, especially when trauma is involved? How can we value our own mental health but also follow Jesus? This is a fascinating and healing conversation with Susannah Griffith, author of Forgiveness After Trauma. Our Sponsor: The Kingdom …

1
What Is God Doing In My Trauma? (with Matt Wenger) 20:56

3M ago20:56

20:56

We need a theology of trauma. In this episode, Matt Wenger powerfully invites us to view our trauma through the lens of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection. This episode is a preview of our new online course at healyourtrauma.com Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for Christian men struggling with sex, po…

1
Episode 228: How Our Stories Influence Our Marriage Choices feat. Natalie Hoffman 1:06:45

3M ago1:06:45

1:06:45

Natalie Hoffman joins us today to talk about her INCREDIBLE memoir All the Scary Little Gods. Natalie escaped an abusive marriage, and now coaches other women in similar situations. In her memoir, she invites us to listen to the story from the point of view of Little Natalie, and using IFS (Internal Family Systems) to see it from all of her parts. …

1
How To Create Connection In Any Conversation (LIVE) 37:19

3M ago37:19

37:19

Do you long for connection, but it feels impossible? In this episode, you'll learn extremely simple tools and techniques to create connection in any conversation—using your eyes, face, voice, and words. Helpful phrases: Tell me more… What’s it like for you... How does that affect you? That makes sense (because)... It sounds like / I hear you saying…

1
Episode 227: Are We Creating a Strawman out of Complementarianism? We Respond to Critics 1:04:33

4M ago1:04:33

1:04:33

So many people resist admitting that they are actually egalitarians, because they think they have to be complementarian--even if they don't act like it. Today Sheila and her husband Keith dissect the arguments that are often used to say "we're really complementarian"--even when they're objectively not. And we invite people instead to preach what th…

1
Why Men Don't Talk About Their Sexual Abuse (with Mike Chapman and Dr. Doug Carpenter) 1:43:23

4M ago1:43:23

1:43:23

There are over 40 reasons why men don't talk about their sexual abuse. Let's break the silence. In this episode hosted by Mike Chapman and Doug Carpenter, survivors of sexual abuse share vulnerable stories of harm and healing. Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of the HM fellowship for survivors of sexual abuse. Conta…

1
Episode 226: What We've Learned 3 Years After Great Sex Rescue 1:09:48

4M ago1:09:48

1:09:48

The Great Sex Rescue turns 3 this week! And it's been a super eventful three years. So much has changed. So let's talk about the feedback we've had, what we've done since, what people are saying--and where we're going from here. To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work Or, for tax deductible donations in the U…

1
How To Tell Her About The Porn: Full Disclosure (with Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill) 42:21

4M ago42:21

42:21

What is full disclosure? When, why, and how should I reveal sexual secrets to my wife? In this episode, disclosure experts Dan Drake and Janice Caudill walk us through the process of full therapeutic disclosure from beginning to end. You'll learn how to restore truth in your relationship in a way that is healing rather than harmful. Dan Drake and D…

1
Episode 225: Do You Even Want This Kind of Marriage? 56:35

4M ago56:35

56:35

Would our reaction to Christian marriage advice change if we realize how many people who write that advice are actually in abusive or destructive marriages? What if people in those marriages are more drawn to write marriage advice to process how they're feeling? Today we look at two different women that Focus on the Family have held up to be emulat…

1
152 Learning To Live Inside Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride 39:22

4M ago39:22

39:22

I am joined today by Dr. Hillary McBride to discuss excerpts from her new book titled, “Practices for Embodied Living.” Topics covered include: how to feel your feelings, being alive in your body (eroticism), and the story of your relationship to your sensuality and sexuality. Finally, I ask Hillary about her beautiful claim that we often find the …

1
Healthy Fantasy vs. Unhealthy Fantasy 15:14

4M ago15:14

15:14

Your imagination is not bad. Learn the 4 main types of fantasies, how to evaluate the healthiness of a fantasy, and what to do with your healthy/unhealthy fantasies! Related episodes: Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy Introduction To Sexual Symbolism How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over …

1
Episode 224: Lies Women Believe Part 2: Is God a Monster? 1:16:02

4M ago1:16:02

1:16:02

Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth taught concerning things about shame, trauma, and even what God is like. On today's podcast, we're joined by Becky Castle Miller, a doctoral student looking at emotions in the Bible, and Helen Blake, a licensed counselor in Sydney, Australia, to discuss some of the damaging teachings--and point us to a J…

1
A Grace-Based Approach To Sexual Recovery (with Jonathan Daugherty) 39:31

4M ago39:31

39:31

What is grace, and how does it apply to sexual recovery? Jonathan Daugherty inspiringly explains how grace is not "soft" but the most powerful force for transformation and freedom from porn. Pride, shame, and comparison all melt away under the core truth that you are worth the life of God's son, and that can never change. Jonathan Daugherty is the …

1
Episode 223: The Problems with Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth 1:28:22

5M ago1:28:22

1:28:22

Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is one of the most popular women’s bible study books used in churches across North America. But what does the book actually teach about marriage? About sex? About divorce and abuse? It’s scary, and today Gretchen Baskerville and Natalie Hoffman join host Sheila Wray Gregoire to analyze the harmful messag…

1
Singleness & Same-Sex Attraction (with Dr. Greg Coles) 36:25

5M ago36:25

36:25

If you're single and you experience same-sex attraction, this episode is for you. Dr. Greg Coles offers insight, humor, delight, and hope that defies typical Christian categories of what a "good and beautiful life" can look like. Greg Coles is an author, speaker, and scholar at the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Check out Greg's books (th…

1
Episode 222: How Sex Is Like Chef Boyardee–and Other New Research Findings! 55:31

5M ago55:31

55:31

Links to things mentioned: First, support us! Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation Check out our Merch! Our Resources Sign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails The Orgasm Course (there’s also an add-on for husband…

1
151 What To Do With Desire and Dread with Mike Boland 41:02

5M ago41:02

41:02

Pastor and counselor Mike Boland shares a story from when he was 15 years old. It’s a story about the interplay of longing for connection and, at the same time, dreading what will be required of him in return. We talk about grooming, and the war of ambivalence that rages in one’s body in the midst of abuse. You can find out more about Mike’s work a…

1
Outgrowing Porn vs. Purity Culture 1:19:55

5M ago1:19:55

1:19:55

What is the difference between outgrowing porn and purity culture? In this replay from The Porn Free Man Conference, you'll experience dramatic examples of what these two approaches look like, sound like, and feel like when you are... Reaching out to a friend after watching porn (failure vs. feedback) Sharing vulnerable parts of your story (harsh a…

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Episode 221: Let Men Be Dads! Why Do So Many Evangelical Resources Portray Men as Pathetic Dads? 1:06:34

5M ago1:06:34

1:06:34

Links to things mentioned: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriage Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits Check out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https…

1
Outgrowing Porn Through Parts Work (with Dr. Gerry Crete) 47:59

5M ago47:59

47:59

How can parts work help us outgrow porn? Dr. Gerry Crete combines Christian faith, internal family systems, attachment theory, and EMDR into a powerful approach to outgrowing porn. Learn why we need to work with parts pre-emptively, how to "break the spell" when you're in a trance state, and practical ways Jesus can meet our attachment needs. Dr. G…

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