Best Jay Stringer Podcasts (2024)

1
Outgrowing Porn in Marriage (with Rich and Deanna Millentree) 53:17

2h ago53:17

53:17

How can a couple devastated by porn heal, grow, and become even stronger? In this episode, Rich and Deanna Millentree tell their incredible story. "We're Rich and DeAnna Millentree and we love growing in marriage! We've ridden the rollercoaster of marriage for over 28 years. The ups are exhilarating, but the downs are daunting. As Christian Marriag…

1
How To Transform Your Triggers: The F.L.O.S.S. Method (Part 2) 51:45

18m ago51:45

51:45

In this episode, I transform one of my triggers using The F.L.O.S.S. Method with help from three Certified Husband Material Coaches: Andrew Loyd, Juan Mejia, and Rocky Pisor. This episode was recorded live at the recent HMA In A Day workshop as a live demonstration of Trigger Tuesday, one of the weekly coaching calls in Husband Material Academy. Th…

1
How To Transform Your Triggers: The F.L.O.S.S. Method (Part 1) 41:07

2h ago41:07

41:07

Triggers don't have to be tyrants. In this episode, you'll learn how to transform your triggers from threats into opportunities for healing using The F.LO.S.S. Method. This episode is an excerpt from the recent HMA In A Day workshop. The F.L.O.S.S. Method: F = Fear L = Lie O = Origin Story S = Sadness S = Surrender Free resource mentioned in this e…

1
How I Stopped Getting Into My Husband's Recovery Work Instead Of Doing Mine (with Tera Brown) 27:21

7d ago27:21

27:21

Tera Brown went from trying to fix her husband's sex addiction to finding herself, her emotions, her boundaries, and her sacred ground. In this episode, you'll learn what it looks like to heal from relational trauma and feel alive in your body. Tera Brown is a trauma-informed life coach trained by APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addiction Tr…

1
158 The Critical Relationship Between Attachment and Affect Regulation 30:05

27d ago30:05

30:05

If you have difficulty regulating your emotion, there is a reason for that! No one comes out of the womb with the ability to regulate their affect. The way you develop the neurobiological structures to regulate your own emotions is by having your affect interactively regulated by another. This is the main gift that a primary caregiver gives to a ch…

1
Sitting In The Dirt Of Sexual Brokenness (with Jeremy Williamson) 31:20

22d ago31:20

31:20

How do I sit in the dirt with someone who is experiencing sexual brokenness? What if I don't know what to say? What if I find myself dysregulated or sexually aroused by the other person? Jeremy Williamson offers invaluable wisdom and counterintuitive clarity about how "be with" others in such a way that they experience the presence of God. Jeremy W…

1
How To Do Experiential Healing Work 24:21

21d ago24:21

24:21

Have you ever been disappointed by traditional counseling or talk therapy? In this episode, you'll discover the power of a whole-brain approach to outgrowing porn. You'll learn the why, what, and how of experiential healing work. This episode is required viewing for my clients. Related episodes: How To Heal Your Inner Child Experience Healing Throu…

1
Restoration After Porn Relapse (with Rocky Pisor) 40:36

1M ago40:36

40:36

How do you pursue restoration after a relapse, especially in marriage or ministry leadership? Rocky Pisor tells his own story of processing a porn relapse after 17 years of sobriety. You'll learn how to notice the warning signs of impending relapse, and how to respond to relapse with curiosity and compassion rather than punishing yourself or preten…

1
157 What If My Story Isn’t That Bad? Why We All Tend to Minimize Our Wounds 29:24

28d ago29:24

29:24

This episode is for people who experience emotional pain but feel like “nothing that bad happened to me growing up. I had a pretty good childhood.” As it says in Jeremiah 6, it is very common to dress our wounds as though they are not serious. One way we tend to minimize our wounds is by comparing our story to someone else who “had it worse.” Anoth…

1
It's Good To Be Aroused (with Sam Jolman) 46:24

2M ago46:24

46:24

"There is nothing inherently wrong with an aroused man." What is arousal? Why is it good? Sam Jolman helps us reclaim the heart of masculine sexuality for the purpose of awe, play, and worshipping God. You'll learn how arousal always has a script, why evil hates arousal, and the difference between sexuality and sensuality. At the end, you'll receiv…

1
Freedom From Gay Porn (LIVE) 1:00:44

2M ago1:00:44

1:00:44

Why do I struggle with gay porn? What does freedom look like? How can I stop using gay porn? In this episode, I answer these questions based on years of research and helping hundreds of men achieve lasting freedom from gay porn. Recommended resources (including paid links): Healing And Recovery: Perspective For Young Men With Sexualized Attachments…

1
156 Five Objections to Engaging Your Story: A Response 40:35

2M ago40:35

40:35

When I began exploring my story, five objections kept coming up for me. These objections kept me stuck. In today’s episode, I respond to each of the five objections. Objection 1: I should focus on the present and the future, not "dwell on the past.” Objection 2: Looking at my story is self-indulgent, introspective navel gazing; I should be focused …

1
How Childhood Experiences Shape Sexual Development (with Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt) 30:08

2M ago30:08

30:08

What's the point of processing childhood experiences? In this special episode recorded live at the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit, Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt share insights and stories about how processing childhood experiences can help you outgrow porn. Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew i…

1
Why We Sexualize Emotions And How To Desexualize Them 26:37

2M ago26:37

26:37

Why do we sexualize emotions, and how can we desexualize them? In this episode, I explain what it looks like to "right-size" sexual energy through processing emotions and releasing trauma. Free tools to process emotions: Feelings And Needs Wheel Feelings And Needs Inventory Ready to release some trauma? Come to the Husband Material Retreat in Color…

1
155 Why Engaging Your Story Heals Your Brain 39:34

2M ago39:34

39:34

My invitation to you today is simple: to take your story seriously. Engaging your story is the single most important thing you can do to experience healing. When I say "your story," I'm talking more about the individual scenes than the overarching narrative of your life. Your stories—particularly your stories of heartache or harm—have shaped your b…

1
Overcoming Sexual Entitlement (with Noah Filipiak) 39:46

2M ago39:46

39:46

What happens when you feel entitled to sex and treat your wife like a replacement for porn? In this episode, Noah Filipiak tells his story of overcoming sexual entitlement and objectification. Along the way, he unpacks the false promises of purity culture, what love really looks like, how God's grace changes us, and the power of gratitude. Noah Fil…

1
154 What Grief Is, How It Heals, and the Pain of Loneliness with J.S. Park 45:35

2M ago45:35

45:35

In “As Long As You Need,” author J.S. Park writes that “Grief is not about letting go, but about letting in.” Letting in sorrow, letting in anger, and especially letting in other people who can be WITH us in our pain. This episode is about all kinds of grief—not merely the grief of losing a loved one. One of Joon Park’s main points is that we often…

1
Hope And Healing For Sexless Marriage (with Adam and Karissa King) 40:45

3M ago40:45

40:45

What is the definition of sexless marriage? Why do couples experience this? Sexless marriage is often a symptom of deeper psychosomatic issues. Adam and Karissa teach practical tools to build a sexful marriage through vulnerability, intimacy, and safe touch. This episode can also help couples for whom intercourse is painful or not possible. Adam an…

1
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Respond To A Story (Part 4) 1:03:04

3M ago1:03:04

1:03:04

How do you respond to someone else's story with curiosity and compassion? In part 4 of this 4 part series, Marcus Spaur shares his story: "If I Only Could Have Been..." If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Reco…

1
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Write A Story (Part 3) 42:22

3M ago42:22

42:22

How do you write a story about your trauma and sexual experiences? In part 3 of this 4-part series, Wendell Moss shares his story: "Sex & Sexuality" If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Dre…

1
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: Why We Do Story Work (Part 2) 33:36

3M ago33:36

33:36

Why is story work absolutely essential for men outgrowing porn? In part 2 of this 4 part series, Chris Inman shares his story: "The Lonely Walk." If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew i…

1
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: What Is Story Work? (Part 1) 40:59

3M ago40:59

40:59

What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces." If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups. Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/group Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Dre…

1
Porn and Inner Healing Prayer 21:23

4M ago21:23

21:23

What is inner healing prayer, and how can it help men outgrow porn? This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.com Resources for Inner Healing Prayer: Streams of Healing: Finding Your Way to Wholeness with Key Leaders in the Inne…

1
153 How Your Past Story Affects Your Present Sexuality with Jay Stringer 50:28

4M ago50:28

50:28

I am joined today by author Jay Stringer to talk about sexual stuckness/difficulties/pain. Healthy sexuality is deeply tied to the degree to which we have made sense of our story in our family of origin. Sadly, so few of us have ever been asked to connect the dots between our past life story and the sexual difficulties we face in the present. Today…

1
Porn and Polyvagal Theory (with John Kilmer) 23:56

4M ago23:56

23:56

What is Polyvagal Theory? How can it help men outgrow porn? John Kilmer skillfully describes the autonomic nervous system and how to (re)shape it in order to experience regulation without unwanted sexual behavior. John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. John has completed the Foundati…

1
What Is God Doing In My Trauma? (with Matt Wenger) 20:56

4M ago20:56

20:56

We need a theology of trauma. In this episode, Matt Wenger powerfully invites us to view our trauma through the lens of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection. This episode is a preview of our new online course at healyourtrauma.com Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for Christian men struggling with sex, po…

1
How To Create Connection In Any Conversation (LIVE) 37:19

4M ago37:19

37:19

Do you long for connection, but it feels impossible? In this episode, you'll learn extremely simple tools and techniques to create connection in any conversation—using your eyes, face, voice, and words. Helpful phrases: Tell me more… What’s it like for you... How does that affect you? That makes sense (because)... It sounds like / I hear you saying…

1
Why Men Don't Talk About Their Sexual Abuse (with Mike Chapman and Dr. Doug Carpenter) 1:43:23

5M ago1:43:23

1:43:23

There are over 40 reasons why men don't talk about their sexual abuse. Let's break the silence. In this episode hosted by Mike Chapman and Doug Carpenter, survivors of sexual abuse share vulnerable stories of harm and healing. Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of the HM fellowship for survivors of sexual abuse. Conta…

1
How To Tell Her About The Porn: Full Disclosure (with Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill) 42:21

5M ago42:21

42:21

What is full disclosure? When, why, and how should I reveal sexual secrets to my wife? In this episode, disclosure experts Dan Drake and Janice Caudill walk us through the process of full therapeutic disclosure from beginning to end. You'll learn how to restore truth in your relationship in a way that is healing rather than harmful. Dan Drake and D…

1
152 Learning To Live Inside Your Body with Dr. Hillary McBride 39:22

5M ago39:22

39:22

I am joined today by Dr. Hillary McBride to discuss excerpts from her new book titled, “Practices for Embodied Living.” Topics covered include: how to feel your feelings, being alive in your body (eroticism), and the story of your relationship to your sensuality and sexuality. Finally, I ask Hillary about her beautiful claim that we often find the …

1
Healthy Fantasy vs. Unhealthy Fantasy 15:14

5M ago15:14

15:14

Your imagination is not bad. Learn the 4 main types of fantasies, how to evaluate the healthiness of a fantasy, and what to do with your healthy/unhealthy fantasies! Related episodes: Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy Introduction To Sexual Symbolism How My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over …

1
A Grace-Based Approach To Sexual Recovery (with Jonathan Daugherty) 39:31

5M ago39:31

39:31

What is grace, and how does it apply to sexual recovery? Jonathan Daugherty inspiringly explains how grace is not "soft" but the most powerful force for transformation and freedom from porn. Pride, shame, and comparison all melt away under the core truth that you are worth the life of God's son, and that can never change. Jonathan Daugherty is the …

1
Singleness & Same-Sex Attraction (with Dr. Greg Coles) 36:25

6M ago36:25

36:25

If you're single and you experience same-sex attraction, this episode is for you. Dr. Greg Coles offers insight, humor, delight, and hope that defies typical Christian categories of what a "good and beautiful life" can look like. Greg Coles is an author, speaker, and scholar at the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Check out Greg's books (th…

1
151 What To Do With Desire and Dread with Mike Boland 41:02

6M ago41:02

41:02

Pastor and counselor Mike Boland shares a story from when he was 15 years old. It’s a story about the interplay of longing for connection and, at the same time, dreading what will be required of him in return. We talk about grooming, and the war of ambivalence that rages in one’s body in the midst of abuse. You can find out more about Mike’s work a…

1
Outgrowing Porn vs. Purity Culture 1:19:55

6M ago1:19:55

1:19:55

What is the difference between outgrowing porn and purity culture? In this replay from The Porn Free Man Conference, you'll experience dramatic examples of what these two approaches look like, sound like, and feel like when you are... Reaching out to a friend after watching porn (failure vs. feedback) Sharing vulnerable parts of your story (harsh a…

1
Outgrowing Porn Through Parts Work (with Dr. Gerry Crete) 47:59

6M ago47:59

47:59

How can parts work help us outgrow porn? Dr. Gerry Crete combines Christian faith, internal family systems, attachment theory, and EMDR into a powerful approach to outgrowing porn. Learn why we need to work with parts pre-emptively, how to "break the spell" when you're in a trance state, and practical ways Jesus can meet our attachment needs. Dr. G…

1
What To Do When Your Wife Is Triggered (with Tammy Gustafson) 39:46

6M ago39:46

39:46

How can a husband help his wife during a trigger? Tammy Gustafson reveals what triggers are, how they affect your wife's brain, and what she needs after a trigger tornado has passed. Discover how her triggers can become opportunities for healing! Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, EMDR certified clinician, …

1
Healing Through Artwork and Storywork (with Philip Leach and John Kilmer) 58:37

7M ago58:37

58:37

What happens when you combine storywork, artwork, and Jesus? Witness powerful healing in this live demonstration of HMA Coaching! As Drew shares a story of difficulty, chalk artisan Philip Leach creates a visual representation while coach John Kilmer offers attunement. Then we invite Jesus into the story and watch the chalk art change. The result i…

1
150 Trauma Heals By Connecting With Others 35:12

7M ago35:12

35:12

The opposite of trauma is not "no trauma;" the opposite of trauma is connection. To be human is to be wounded. However, wounds heal naturally when the environment is right… and the right environment for healing is the empathic presence of another person. God made our brains and nervous systems to need one another. This is particularly true when it …

1
12 Reasons To Stop Shaming Yourself 20:59

7M ago20:59

20:59

Learn 12 reasons why shaming yourself doesn't help, what's more powerful than shame, and what you can do instead of shaming yourself. Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-i…

1
How To Help Your Partner Heal (with Carol Sheets) 35:55

7M ago35:55

35:55

How can I help my partner heal from the impact of my porn and sex addiction? Psychotherapist and author Carol Sheets reveals what sexually betrayed partners need most, and how you can "help her heal" when you create safety, practice empathy, offer validation, and take ownership without going into shame. This episode is super practical and full of g…

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