Do You Care Too Much What Other People Think of You? Avoid Conflict? Say Yes When You Shouldn't? | Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning Expert

10% Happier with Dan Harris

Practical tools to turn down the volume on fawning.

Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a licensed clinical psychologist with a master's in transpersonal psychology and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology. Her book is FAWNING: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves—and How to Find our Way Back.

In this episode we talk about:

• What is fawning, actually
• Chronic vs situational fawning
• The physiological ramifications of fawning
• How power plays into all of this
• Ways to get clarity around unseen bruises and wounds that drive your behavior
• Owning your anger – and how to express it in healthy ways
• How to know if you're a fawner
• Practical steps to unfawn
• Accessible approaches to regulating your nervous system
• How to set boundaries
• Fawning and un-fawning in a work context, specifically
• And her observation, which I've been thinking about a lot, that wounding happens in relationships… but so does healing

This holiday season, 10% Happier is teaming up with dozens of podcasts for an ambitious goal: to lift three entire villages in Rwanda out of extreme poverty. Join us by visiting GiveDirectly.org/Dan and supporting the #PodsFightPoverty campaign.

Related Episodes:

• How To Regulate Your Nervous System For Stress, Anxiety, And Trauma | Peter Levine
• How To Handle Your Demons | Richard Schwartz
• How (and Why) to Hug Your Inner Dragons | Richard Schwartz
• This Neurobiologist Wants You To Ask One Question To Reframe Anxiety, Depression, And Trauma | Dr. Bruce Perry (Co-Interviewed by Dan's Wife, Bianca!)

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