E21: Discovering Unconditional Self-Love

Fearless Self-Love

How many of us, when times are tough, reach a point where we try to force ourselves into healing? If we can’t fix a broken vase by hitting it with a baseball bat, why do we think we can heal by being hard on ourselves? We have to soften our approach in order to move forward. Join me as I talk with Tracey Duncan about the many facets of self-love, and how we can move into a space of unconditionally loving ourselves.

• What happens when we discover we only love ourselves conditionally
• Why you can’t cultivate healing with force
• How to heal through softening

Links Mentioned

Yoga Health Coaching

Yoga Healer

More Yoga, Less Bullshit

Brene Brown

The Wisdom of a Broken Heart by Susan Piver

Crossfit

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

Hero course

Tracey Duncan on Vice

Show Highlights

5:02 Easeful Living Practice

13:02 Introducing Tracey Duncan

14:51 Disillusioned self-love

20:52 Unconditional and conditional self-love

22:27 Digesting details and setting boundaries

27:38 Finding support to work through the healing process

41:19 Demanding love and inviting love

48:14 “I don’t have to be good all the time”

51:49 Play

54:25 Where to find Tracey

Favorite Quotes

“There’s self-love and then there’s self-love. There’s unconditional self-love and then there’s conditional self-love.” - Tracey Duncan

“Don’t present undigested material.” - Tracey Duncan

“I can’t call 9-1-1 about my divorce.” - Tracey Duncan

“You can show your work without showing your intestines.” - Tracey Duncan

“Showing up and doing more work in that process is how we continue to gain strength.” - Andrea Catherine

“The deep healing happens when we show up, even when it’s difficult.” - Andrea Catherine

“Attention and love and acceptance and support are gifts and they can’t be demanded, they can only be offered.” - Tracey Duncan

“You cannot police or discipline a broken thing to become whole.” - Tracey Duncan

“I don’t have to be good all the time.” - Tracey Duncan

“You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” - Mary Oliver

“There’s so much value and so much love and so much opportunity in that freedom of exploration.” - Andrea Catherine

Meet Tracey

Tracey Duncan comes from what you might call poor white trash, unless you are poor white trash, in which case you probably just call her family. She dropped out of high school three times. Tracey misspent her youth in South Beach, where she worked for nightclubs and partied semi-professionally.

Sometime in her twenties, Tracey decided to get her $hit together. She sweet-talked her way into Columbia University, where she got a degree in Anthropology. She also has an MFA in Creative Writing. She has taught composition and literature at the university level, and is a retired Montessori Elementary teacher. Tracey is currently a writer, a yoga teacher, and a coach in New Orleans.

Tracey helps coaches, healers, and yoga teachers craft and share their personal stories to show others how to lead revolutionary lives. If you want to evolve into your superhero alter ego and show her to the world, Tracey wants to help. You can check out her teachings on The Hero Course. Read her work in Vice and on her website, More Yoga, Less Bull$hit. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram for the juiciest tidbits.