#198 - How To Be Dateable With Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu (Dateable Podcast) First Of All podcast

Instagram (@dateablepodcast)

24:42

Episode Notes [01:14] Unexpected Email from Employer [05:49] The Deferred Resignation Program [06:34] Initial Reactions and Concerns [08:01] Evaluating the Offer [08:21] Enhanced Standards of Conduct [08:55] Personal Reflections and Concerns [12:21] Seeking Advice and Making a Decision [13:01] Option One: Do Not Resign [14:56] Option Two: Resign [16:44] Insights from Conversations [21:30] Making The Decision [23:51] Final Thoughts and Gratitude Resources Mentioned Sebastian Junger The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson Donald Trump Elon Musk Steve Bannon Russell Vought Derek Sivers Sumner Crenshaw Brian Fretwell at Finding Good Chad Littlefield The Thought Leaders Practice by Matt Church Simon Cowell Beauty Pill Producer Ben Ford Questions Asked Is it legitimate, and can it be trusted? How are you feeling? What questions come to your mind? Where does your mind go? Are you seeking safety? Would this have been an adrenaline rush as you raced to send the resignation response? What an "enhanced standard" regarding loyalty and trustworthiness was? What are these new "enhanced standards?" Are they beyond what my Constitutional oath requires? If I don't resign, how bright will the target on my back glow? My leadership has supported all my work, but would termination direction come from higher up the chain of command? What would you recommend if we talked over coffee? What questions would you ask? How would you use listening? How would you use silence? How is this scenario playing out in your mind and body? What is coming to the surface for you? How might that influence what you are about to say to me? What are the chances of my name popping on a list and getting fired? How about the chances of being part of an official Reduction in Force and early retirement? Would the administration make a better offer? What do I know about the pending job market? What did I expect the workplace to be like and did I want to be there as the contractions took place? Will the administration pay me through the end of September or will they renege? Can I sufficiently build the Curated Questions business to transition by 1 October? - Do I have the faith or confidence to step into this future as a sole practitioner and grow Curated Questions into all I envisioned? Was this purpose calling? What would I expect the job market to look like at the end of summer if I hadn't developed the income streams to maintain our lifestyle? What is your recommendation? Did it change from your initial recommendation? Where in your body are you feeling the uncertainty? Are you processing this scenario in parallel with your decision as if you had received the email? What additional questions should I have considered? Who else should I have consulted with? How would you have changed my risk rating? What is the correct length of the pregnant pause before making an important announcement? What processes would you use in my circumstance, and what would be different? What questions are at the top of your list to get to a decision? Who would be the members of your pantheon you would counsel with to gain clarity? Apart from the heady analysis, what other key practices would you include in your journey through a similar situation?…

First of All »
#198 - How To Be Dateable with Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu (Dateable Podcast)

about a year ago 1:31:35

MP3•Episode home

Love is a many splendored thing. Also...is love in the room with us right now when it comes to modern dating? When it comes to finding a special someone who can respond to texts in a timely manner, follow through or even initiate plans ahead of time, have basic manners, practice decent hygiene, maintain healthy boundaries with exes, ask a thoughtful question or two, be nice to your friends, & remember your birthday, amongst many other seemingly basic things... it can all feel, well, friggin impossible these days. In this episode, Minji sits down with returning guests and dating experts Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu to investigate the agony and joy of finding/receiving/manifesting love in an era that's fraught with burnout and disillusionment. How are we all actually doing? What are the blind spots to address and healthier ways to approach this journey? Is it worth it? Julie and Yue share insights that have been deeply researched and assembled beautifully in their new book How To Be Dateable, with some very personal reflections from our hosts. Let's all hold hands, take a cleansing breath, and get focused (and a little vulnerable) with this thing called love. Happy Valentine's Day, FOA fam. <3

Follow Our Guests Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu:

Get the How To Be Dateable book NOW at:

https://www.dateablepodcast.com/book

Follow Minji On:

▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" by Uzuhan

▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective

Audio Engineer @marvinyueh

Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer

200 episodes

First of All

#198 - How To Be Dateable with Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu (Dateable Podcast)

First of All

95 subscribers

published about a year ago

MP3•Episode home

Follow Our Guests Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu:

Instagram (@dateablepodcast)

Get the How To Be Dateable book NOW at:

https://www.dateablepodcast.com/book

Follow Minji On:

▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" by Uzuhan

▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective

Audio Engineer @marvinyueh

Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer

200 episodes

All episodes

First of All

1
#198 - How To Be Dateable with Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu (Dateable Podcast) 1:31:35

6 weeks ago1:31:35

1:31:35

Love is a many splendored thing. Also...is love in the room with us right now when it comes to modern dating? When it comes to finding a special someone who can respond to texts in a timely manner, follow through or even initiate plans ahead of time, have basic manners, practice decent hygiene, maintain healthy boundaries with exes, ask a thoughtful question or two, be nice to your friends, & remember your birthday, amongst many other seemingly basic things... it can all feel, well, friggin impossible these days. In this episode, Minji sits down with returning guests and dating experts Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu to investigate the agony and joy of finding/receiving/manifesting love in an era that's fraught with burnout and disillusionment. How are we all actually doing? What are the blind spots to address and healthier ways to approach this journey? Is it worth it? Julie and Yue share insights that have been deeply researched and assembled beautifully in their new book How To Be Dateable , with some very personal reflections from our hosts. Let's all hold hands, take a cleansing breath, and get focused (and a little vulnerable) with this thing called love. Happy Valentine's Day, FOA fam. <3 Follow Our Guests Julie Krafchick & Yue Xu: Instagram (@dateablepodcast) Get the How To Be Dateable book NOW at: https://www.dateablepodcast.com/book Follow Minji On: Instagram (@minjeezy) Instagram (@firstofallpod) Bluesky (@minjeezy) ▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" by Uzuhan ▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Audio Engineer @marvinyueh Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer…

First of All

1
#197 - Crashing Out, Holding Space & Locking In (solo) 59:34

7 weeks ago59:34

59:34

What a year January 2025 has been. WHAT. A. YEAR. If you're one of the many humans trying calmly (or desperately) to navigate the new normal in (yet again) unprecedented times... you are so not alone. Not by any means. In this episode, Minji unloads her heart and mind on the state of the world, and the good ol' U S of A more specifically. She acknowledges that these challenging times are not for the faint of heart, and that one way or another we all must decide to step up the plate with courage, clarity, empathy and fight .…

First of All

1
196 - Making Your Voice Count with Nancy Yap (Exec Director of CAUSE) 1:40:50

21 weeks ago1:40:50

1:40:50

We're nearing the finish line for one of the most highly anticipated, highly stressful, highly impactful elections of our lifetimes. While we'd all felt we'd been through the worst of it in 2016 and then again in 2020, the unprecedented times have continued on...and on...and on. In the midst of all the division and angst, extremely important conversations have emerged - many that fortunately and unfortunately won't go away after this coming Tuesday passes. We have tough questions to answer, like how much of a difference we can/do actually make, what's working well and depressingly broken in the systems around us, who can we trust, and what can we do about feeling so hopeless nowadays (just to rattle off a few)? In this episode, Minji sits down to get grounded and educated by Nancy Yap, the hardworking and dedicated executive director of CAUSE, a 501(c)(3) with a mission to advance the civic and political empowerment of the API community. Nancy comes from a very humble background of little to no political interest, and now dedicates her career to advancing civic engagement, persisting vocally in her stance that we CAN and ARE making a difference. How??? Together they discuss the implications of actually showing up, the importance of community, the psychological wear and tear of our current culture, and ways to keep our eyes on what matter most in leadership, accountability, and real actual CHANGE. For those of you on the fence or simply worn out, this is for you. This is also for those warriors who haven't given up and just need a refuel in this final stretch of a critical moment in history. Stay the course & everyone MAKE SURE TO VOTE ON OR BEFORE NOVEMBER 5TH!! Follow Our Guest Nancy Yap at: Instagram (@causeusa) Follow Minji On: Instagram (@minjeezy) ▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" by Uzuhan ▫️ Follow the show on Instagram ▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Audio Engineer @marvinyueh Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer…

First of All

1
#195 - Overcoming Obstacles & Achieving the Impossible with Danny O'Malley & Alex Rivest 1:40:50

22 weeks ago1:40:50

1:40:50

Climate change is a topic that brings up existential dread in so many of us, it can overwhelm us, fill us with dread, and/or incite anger and feelings of hopelessness. It feels like an impossible problem to solve. In this episode, Minji sits down with filmmakers Danny O'Malley and Alex Rivest, co-directors of the film Canary , a look into the life of a real life superhero - glacier and climate scientist Lonnie Thompson. Lonnie has spent the past several decades of his life venturing into some of the scariest, coldest, most remote parts of our earth to gather data that has educated the world's science community on the existence and acceleration of climate change. While politics and societal chaos have taken over the facts and solutions available to leaders, there is still power within the hands of humankind ourselves. Together they unpack the journey to make the film itself and a recognition of Lonnie's legacy as a reminder that the most impossible feats are achievable with persistence, determination, luck, and faith. Follow Our Guests Danny O'Malley and Alex Rivest: Instagram (@dannyomalley.film) Instagram (@rivest) CANARY (film link) - Minji will sponsor the first 20 people to watch Canary; send proof of your rental to firstofallpod@gmail.com Follow Minji On: Instagram (@minjeezy) ▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" by Uzuhan ▫️ Follow the show on Instagram ▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Audio Engineer @marvinyueh Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer…

First of All

1
#194 - Navigating Mean Girls & Complex Female Relationships with Priska 1:58:32

30 weeks ago1:58:32

1:58:32

Female relationships can be insanely fulfilling...and also complicated... and sometimes downright traumatic. At some point or another, many of us humans have encountered one (or many) a mean girl. In this episode, Minji sits down with returning guest Priska - singer/songwriter and one half of the Two Horny Goats Podcast - to unpack the trials, tribulations, and lessons from dealing with layered female relationships, including friends, frenemies, bullies, family members, and more. The conversation is kicked off by the controversy surrounding Blake Lively and the questionable marketing and events surrounding the film "It Ends With Us". They dive deep into some difficult personal experiences and the impact its had as they figure out how to develop healthier relationships with themselves and other women. Trigger warning: discussions around DV abuse Resources for those experiencing and/or recovering from DV mentioned in the closing of this episode: No More: NO MORE is a groundbreaking, global initiative comprised of the largest coalition of nonprofits, corporations, government agencies, media, schools, and individuals addressing domestic and sexual violence. Visit their website at: www.nomore.org. The National Domestic Violence Hotline: A 24/7 confidential service that provides support, resources, and information for those experiencing domestic violence. You can reach them at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit their website at www.thehotline.org . Futures Without Violence: An organization dedicated to ending domestic and sexual violence. They provide resources for both survivors and those looking to support the cause. Learn more at www.futureswithoutviolence.org . Follow Our Guest Priscilla Liang-Kim aka Priska: Instagram (@priskamusik) twohornygoats.com Follow Minji On: Instagram (@minjeezy) Instagram (@firstofallpod) ▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" by Uzuhan and " How Will I Know" cover by Priska ▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon ▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Audio Engineer @marvinyueh Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer…

First of All

1
#193 - Milestones & A Call To Action (Solo) - Happy 7th Birthday FOA! 1:12:07

36 weeks ago1:12:07

1:12:07

We’re back baby! In this solo episode, our tired but determined host Minji returns to breathe some life back into First Of All and back into herself. Celebrating another trip around the sun for both podcast and host, this milestone brings in new reflections on aging, filmmaking, friendship, authenticity & (of course) the chaotic state of the world. This one goes out to everyone holding onto hope with everything we’ve got. Follow Minji on: Twitter (@minjeeeezy) Instagram (@minjeezy) Our theme song is "Uzutrap" by Uzuhan Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Produced by @marvinyueh…

First of All

1
#192 - Reviewing & Saying Goodbye to 2023 1:10:10

1 year ago1:10:10

1:10:10

Hey FOA fam! It's been a hot minute but Minji comes back to close out an insane year of ups and downs, and some big wins and losses. Did anyone else live their best and worst year ever at the same exact time??? In a moment of exhausted reflection and hopeful encouragement, Minji sends you all a ginormous hug in her "wearing a giant hoodie (with the hoodie yanked 90% closed of course) on a comfy couch with a giant mug of tea" energy. Thank you and adios 2023.…

First of All

1
Introducing Dear Alana, a new show from Tenderfoot TV 34:23

2 years ago34:23

34:23

Hi First of All listeners! While we wait for the next season of the podcast, we wanted to share something cool with you all. Please enjoy the first episode of the new hit podcast, Dear Alana, from our partners at Tenderfoot TV. Dear Alana, is a show exploring the life of Alana Chen, a 24-year-old woman who disappeared from Boulder, Colorado in 2019. Alana left behind two dozen journals chronicling a deep faith, love of fashion, and dream of becoming a nun. She also harbored a secret. At 14, she confessed to her priest that she was attracted to women and was instructed not to tell her parents. Over the next seven years, Alana covertly received conversion therapy which her family believes played a role in her fate. ---- Part 1: Mom Simon travels to Boulder to meet Alana’s mother, Joyce, and becomes determined to help her understand what happened to Alana. This episode contains references to suicide. If you or someone you know is in need of help, please contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. Listener discretion is advised. Go deeper at https://dearalana.com/ Subscribe to Tenderfoot+ for ad-free listening and an exclusive binge at tenderfootplus.com.…

First of All

1
#191 - Trusting the Process with Ben Chung (Kinjaz, Jabbwockeez) 1:44:55

2 years ago1:44:55

1:44:55

Asking for a friend - does anyone else feeling like just giving up and becoming a potato lately? Because same. In this episode, Minji closes out SEASON 4 and celebrates a beautiful milestone for 6 YEARS OF First Of All Podcast by processing her most recent super fun existential crisis with her dear friend am, the amazing dancer, entrepreneur, and soulful spirit Ben Chung. With the Hollywood strikes, rapid AI development, climate change doom, plus oodles of personal ups & downs, Minji finds herself a bit worn out (again). Ben shares his signature good vibes and deep philosophies that he's cultivated through his prolific creative work and faith. We're blessed with some crazy inspiring stories from Ben's journey of America's Dance Crew and thoughts on how to navigate a rapidly changing world. They chop it up about change, rejection, and practicing how to be present with profound gratitude in the most uncertain of times. Yes, even in this economy. Follow Our Guest Ben Chung: Instagram (@btek_benchung) Twitter (@btek_benchung) kinjaz.com Follow Minji On: Instagram (@minjeezy) Instagram (@firstofallpod) ▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" by Uzuhan and "Close to the Edge" by Fulton Lee ▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video! ▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon ▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Audio Engineer @marvinyueh Producer Da Eun Kim @daeunkm Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer…

First of All

1
#190 - From Overthinking to DOING - We FINALLY made a short film! - with Scott Sayasithsena 1:42:47

2 years ago1:42:47

1:42:47

There are few things more satisfying than taking an idea and turning it into a reality. Some call that manifesting (ahem, like Minji) and some call it just taking simple actions to achieve a goal. Potato, po-tah-to. Whatever you call it, there's SO much that gets in the way, all the imposter syndrome (bleh), the self-sabotage (ugh), the literal years of procrastinating (yeesh), legit life/time/money challenges, and so on and so forth. In this episode, Minji celebrates the creation of her first COMPLETED short film "HONESTLY" that she wrote and starred in with the film's director and her beloved homie Scott Sayasithsena. Together they share what they can about their tiny film project sans spoilers - the idea, the genesis of the collab, the internal hurdles, the logistical nightmares, and the incredible reception they received premiering the short at the Los Angeles Asian Pacific Film Festival in May 2023 alongside some stellar filmmakers. It's one tiny gigantic step that might've taken a long *** time to take, but it's 100% worth commemorating to remind us every path is unique, be kind to yourself, and to keep on keeping on. Follow Our Guest Scott Sayasithsena: Instagram (@scottsayasithsena) Follow Minji On: Instagram (@minjeezy) Instagram (@firstofallpod) ▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" ▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video! ▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon ▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Audio Engineer @marvinyueh Producer Da Eun Kim @daeunkm Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer…

First of All

1
#189 - Making Sacrifices, Pivoting, & Persisting w/ Trus Real 1:53:46

2 years ago1:53:46

1:53:46

In the very wise words of our goddess Aaliyah (RIP) - If at first you don't succeed, dust yourself off and try again. In theory (and in lyrics/beats that slap thanks to the GOAT Timbaland), it's amazing. In practice, it's pretty freakin' hard. To chase dreams, to pursue life goals, to endeavor the seemingly impossible...in this day and age...in this economy ...let's be real, it's easier to just stay in bed and not even try at all. But for better or worse, we push on. In this episode, Minji sits down with her friend and talented rapper Trus Real to talk about his eye-opening journey pursuing, and giving up, a career in music. From playing a little too much to then hustling hard and giving rapping his all to basically giving up everything only to be brought back to it in the most unexpected of ways...as a TikTok creator making "news that rhyme", the path has been tough. Trus and Minji explore the many convoluted ways they've actualized a life that's fulfilling and (hopefully) pays all the bills. They talk about making hard choices, giving up control, taking radical responsibility, and getting scrappy with their creativity to live more authentically and wisely. Follow Our Guest Trus Real: Instagram (@trus_real) patreon.com/trusreal Follow Minji On: Instagram (@minjeezy) Instagram (@firstofallpod) ▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" & “Slow Down” by Trus Real ▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video! ▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon ▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Audio Engineer @marvinyueh Producer Da Eun Kim @daeunkm Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer…

First of All

1
#188: Solo Episode: Messing Up, Apologizing, Forgiving...& Thriving 1:19:13

2 years ago1:19:13

1:19:13

In this solo episode, Minji shares a personal story about unintentionally being a total a-hole, letting down one of her best friends, spiraling, prolonging the awkwardness (as one does), making it worse, freaking out a bit more, and then finally taking steps to make it right again. As universal and commonplace as these mistakes and rifts can be, there's a lot going on underneath it all - self-sabotaging, people-pleasing, being a teeny bit narcissistic/lazy/careless, and/or going into overwhelm trying to keep all our plates spinning at once and just sucking at it. These pain points and blips can lead to larger, more lasting patterns in lives as they pile up unaddressed. Maybe it's time we forget "time heals all wounds", and realize healing heals all wounds. So how can we start addressing that big nasty pile, one thing at a time, to clean house and get right within ourselves? Minji shares her thoughts (and strategies!) after releasing a TON of emotional baggage that has led to some pretty amazing changes in her life. Follow Minji On: Instagram (@minjeezy) Instagram (@firstofallpod) ▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" ▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video! ▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon ▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Audio Engineer @marvinyueh Producer Da Eun Kim @daeunkm Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer…

First of All

1
#187 - Demanding & Exploring Better Sex Education with Anne Hodder-Shipp 1:34:55

2 years ago1:34:55

1:34:55

Let's talk about sex! Because despite our global society's obsession with it, we're still frighteningly undereducated about it. While more conversations and information on sexuality are shared much more openly due to social media content and online resources, longstanding attitudes and deeply rooted cultural beliefs can take a lot longer for a person to become open to learn. Some of us have been trained to fear sex, some have been shamed to explore their curiosity, some have been traumatized, and some have been convinced there's nothing important for them to know about themselves or anyone else, and some have just had no access to learning, period. So yeah.. we're still unpacking A LOT. In this episode, Minji sits down with Anne Hodder-Shipp, an award-winning certified sex and relationship educator dedicated to providing accurate, expansive, and compassionate care. Together they talk about their very different upbringings and how everything from school, religion, parents, and communities influenced their understanding of sex from the biological to moral and intimacy facets. Anne shares some of the common misinformation that's creating barriers to having a healthy relationship within ourselves, and of course with others. Pleasure, boundaries, consent, mechanics - we are still just getting started in normalizing these conversations. Hopefully this one will be another to encourage more compassion, respect, curiosity and openness to get smart about what's going on inside our minds and others. Follow Our Guest Anne Hodder-Shipp: Instagram (@theannehodder) https://annehoddershipp.com/ https://everyonedeservessexed.com/ Follow Minji On: Instagram (@minjeezy) Instagram (@firstofallpod) ▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" & “Red Ferrari” by Samica ▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video! ▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon ▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Audio Engineer @marvinyueh Producer Da Eun Kim @daeunkm Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer…

First of All

1
#186 - Stepping into Main Character Energy w/Priska 1:24:29

2 years ago1:24:29

1:24:29

As Minji has created this space and inadvertently shared a lot about herself over the course of First Of All's 180+ episodes, she's changed quite a bit. Grown on a good day, unraveled on a bad one. And one thing that she has intentionally confronted in 2023 is to not only make space for others but how take it up herself. In this episode we get a little one-on-one friendship time with Two Horny Goats co-host and beloved soul sister Priska Liang-Kim to find out more about our FOA host as she's in the "guest" hot seat on her own show for the very first time. Follow Our Guest Priska: Instagram (@priskamusik) twohornygoats.com Follow Minji On: Instagram (@minjeezy) Instagram (@firstofallpod) ▫️ Music featured in this episode include "Uzutrap" & “High Risk Travel (Priska & Aberbeats cover)” by Priska ▫️ NEW!!: Subscribe to First Of All on YouTube & check out our S4 episodes on video! ▫️ Follow the show on Instagram and Twitter and support our Patreon ▫️ This podcast is part of Potluck: An Asian American Podcast Collective Audio Engineer @marvinyueh Producer Da Eun Kim @daeunkm Social Media Manager @JulianaDeer…

First of All

1
#185 - F*ck Up, Make Mistakes & Be Messy with Adele Lim (Director of Joy Ride) 1:20:38

2 years ago1:20:38