344: Comparing Yourself to Others with Dr. Kat

Mom and Mind

I want to explore a topic that comes up a LOT in therapy sessions: comparing yourself to others. It’s a trap that many of us are caught in, especially when it comes to engaging in social media. In general, we seem to think that everyone else has their shit together except us. I won’t keep you in suspense, but I’ll tell you upfront that nobody has it together all the time. Why do we spend so much time and energy playing the comparison game? Let’s jump in.

Show Highlights:

• Parents are particularly vulnerable to making comparisons to others.
• The top reasons that we compare ourselves to others: societal pressure, social media, curated imagery in TV/movies, and general insecurities
• The downward spiral of negative self-judgment is a long road toward anxiety, depression, etc.
• Dr. Kat’s advice: “When it comes to social media, take note of how it makes you feel.”
• Comparison is seeing a snapshot of someone else’s life and comparing our worst to what looks like their best.
• Comparison, perfectionism, and people-pleasing are all attempts to make ourselves “good enough” for other people.
• Dr. Kat’s tips to combat comparisons:
• Limit social media.
• Realize that comparing yourself to a sliver of someone else’s moment is not the full picture.
• Cut yourself some slack and live YOUR own life.
• Realize that you are human—and all humans make mistakes.

Resources:

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to better support people for whom they provide services.

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!