Dr. Trevor Kashey can teach any intelligent person how to apply the scientific method so that they can be rational and constructive with themselves, other people, and the lives they lead. For over 15 years now, Dr. Trevor Kashey helps people just like you transform their minds, bodies, and lives - guiding them to feel good, and look great... by thinking straighter! Dr. Kashey's community regularly produces life-changing transformations resulting in 8 figure businesses, gold medals, and metri ...
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Welcome to Becoming with Lisa Loveland and Kosta Hantzis. This podcast is focused on helping you become the best version of yourself. And no matter where you are on that journey, we hope to bring you one step closer with every episode.
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey discusses the concept of "mental toughness" and its potential pitfalls. He reads and analyzes an article by Professor Michael Easter, which critically examines the societal obsession with mental toughness and the flawed assumptions surrounding it. Dr. Kashey highlights how the pursuit of mental toughness through self-imp…
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Ep# 192: Training Your Frustration Tolerance
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about the importance of discriminating between frustrations that are worth addressing and those that can be ignored. He emphasizes that it is reasonable to live with some open loops, hassles, and mysteries in life, and attempting to resolve all of them can lead to a feeling of solving none. Dr. Kashey introduces th…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about frustration tolerance and how it plays a crucial role in managing frustrations effectively. He explains that frustration tolerance is the ability to think rationally and stay composed while experiencing frustrating situations. Dr. Kashey emphasizes that frustrations are inevitable, but it's our appraisal of t…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about the importance of frustration tolerance and how it relates to the well-known Aesop's fable, "The Boy and the Filberts." He uses the tale as an illustrative example to demonstrate how rigid belief systems and a lack of frustration tolerance can lead to irrational and impulsive behaviors. Dr. Kashey explains th…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about the concept of stress, particularly chronic stress, and its relationship with frustration. He explains that stress is a biological response to perceived threats or demands, rather than the cause itself. Dr. Kashey discusses how people often misuse the term "stress" to refer to stressors or frustrating stimuli…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about the concept of frustration and annoyance, and how they can lead to anger if not managed properly. He explains that frustrations arising from the operational domain (being able to do what one wants) and the fairness domain (getting what one deserves) are particularly prone to causing annoyance. Dr. Kashey disc…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about the rationale behind gradually increasing calorie intake during a fat loss phase, rather than continually decreasing calories. He explains that initially starting with a very low calorie intake allows individuals to improve their skills in measuring, tracking, and reporting their food intake accurately. As th…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about the frustration aversion paradox and the concept of "double trouble," which are closely related to the phenomenon of procrastination. He explains that procrastination, often viewed as a practical problem, is actually fueled by emotional disturbance stemming from the frustration aversion paradox and the tenden…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about the complicated relationship between frustrations, feelings, and rational thinking. He explores the concept of "provocation" and how it relates to motivation, explaining that feelings are the primary drivers of behavior and urgency. Dr. Kashey emphasizes the importance of integrating rational thinking with fe…
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In this episode Dr. Kashey emphasizes why it's important to view frustration as an event rather than just a feeling. He argues that when a frustrating stimulus blocks our progress, it generates thoughts, feelings, and urges the essence of STFU. But frustration itself is not inherently bad or negative. Dr. Kashey notes that overcoming frustrations i…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey challenges common notions about the true nature of frustration. Rather than an emotion, he frames frustration as an event obstructing our progress. When frustrations happen, the thoughts and feelings they provoke drive our reactions. While the phrase "I'm frustrated" expresses upset, Dr. Kashey argues feeling so is a cho…
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Ep# 182: Procrastinators Unite! (...Later)
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey explores the second type of frustration aversion leading to the "frustration aversion paradox" procrastination, or as he calls it, "frustration aversion by delay." Dr. Kashey explains when frustration tolerance is low or frustration sensitivity high, people become highly impulsive and likely to make poor decisions. He ar…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey dives deeper into the psychology of frustration, analyzing the dysfunctional ways we often respond to frustrating situations. He highlights two common but distorted coping mechanisms "out of sight, out of mind" and "out of mind, out of sight." Though temporarily effective at avoiding frustration, Dr. Kashey explains how …
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey unravels the psychology behind our dysfunctional relationships with sex, drugs, and snacks. He keenly explains how suppression fuels obsession, with restriction intensifying rather than lessening compulsive desires. Dr. Kashey then insightfully exposes the false equivalencies people construct between food and substances,…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey shares a vulnerable post from Huggy, who opens up about his struggles with severe depression and suicidal thoughts. Even with mono taking a physical toll, Huggy explains how using the frustration framework - tracking data, crafting actionable tied-to variables under his control, and leaning on wisdom tools like "STFU" - …
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In this episode Dr. Kashey discusses the two main types of frustration aversion: outright avoidance/aversion (like George Costanza's unemployment scheme on Seinfeld) and delay/procrastination. He then breaks down outright aversion into two further categories: "out of sight, out of mind" and "out of mind, out of sight." Using examples like chronic d…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey explores the concept of the frustration paradox, a comedic exploration of why avoiding life's frustrations often leads to intensifying them. With a blend of philosophical inquiry and practical examples, Dr. Kashey navigates the complexities of human desires across operational, emotional, achievement, and fairness domains…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey explores frustration and how it impacts our actions offering a unique perspective on the interplay between stimuli, responses, and emotional outbursts.. With his signature wit, he looks at how people blame outside forces when frustration boils over, reflecting deeply rooted human habits. Through funny stories and smart o…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey explores how to apply the STFU approach not just to discrete frustrations but to address major chronic frustrations like overfatness. Minor frustrations will arise along the way, triggering urges to act impulsively and abandon constructive plans. However, Dr. Kashey explains why "going with your gut" feelings and urges p…
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In this extensive and thought-provoking episode, Dr. Kashey dives deeper into chronic frustrations - ongoing obstacles that spill across major life domains. He begins by reiterating the fundamental concepts of frustration, distinguishing between discrete and chronic frustrations, and highlighting their impact on the four domains of operational, emo…
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In this episode Dr. Kashey further classifies frustrations into "discrete" and "chronic" varieties. Drawing from his expertise and humor, he paints a vivid picture of how these frustrations manifest in our lives and affect our overall well-being. Discrete frustrations are temporary obstructions best handled by rationally assessing the situation and…
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Dr. Kashey takes a detour from his usual series to address a pressing question posed by one of the TKN’s kickstart challengers, Carrie. He tackles the common dilemma of finding satisfying substitutes for foods we crave. He cautions against restricting yourself from what you truly enjoy, as that often backfires into bingeing later. Instead, Dr. Kash…
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In this episode Dr. Kashey continues his exploration of frustration, offering a more concrete definition and framework for understanding this complex phenomenon. He examines dictionary definitions, leveraging his scientific background to arrive at a more precise conceptualization - frustration as an event or "stimulus" when we are obstructed from g…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey continues examining the powerful effect frustration has on our lives. Looking closely at the many ways people react to frustrating situations, he underscores how our beliefs shape our responses, which in turn determine what happens next. Urging self-reflection, Dr. Kashey argues we have more control over outcomes than we…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey embarks on a comprehensive exploration of the foundational components of frustration, exploring the intricate interplay of stimuli and responses that shape our diverse outcomes. Driven by his mission to understand and mitigate the impact of frustration on our lives, Dr. Kashey revisits critical concepts such as "double t…
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Ep# 168: Frustration Code and Destructive Impulsivity
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey introduces the Frustration Sensitivity Index (FSI), providing a broad overview of where to focus cognitive, behavioral, and philosophical efforts. Exploring the discrete nature of frustrating events, he details the four frustration domains: operational, emotional, achievement, and fairness. Through personal experiences a…
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Ep# 167: The Frustration Sensitivity Index
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey invites listeners to explore frustration and its impact on our lives. With the promise of practical solutions, Dr. Kashey introduces the Frustration Sensitivity index, a tool designed to assess one's presence of mind and build frustration tolerance. Before diving into the index, he emphasizes the importance of understand…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about frustration, exploring its diverse forms and its peculiar influence on our lives. From minor inconveniences like a frozen phone to major life-altering events such as becoming wheelchair-bound, he navigates through frustrations' operational, emotional, fairness, and achievement domains, showcasing the spectrum…
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Ep# 165: Little Things Add Up to Big Things?
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey embarks on a riveting exploration of frustration, dissecting its intricate influence on our lives and providing actionable insights on navigating its myriad manifestations. Opening with a thought-provoking analogy, Dr Kashey challenges whether many little frustrations culminate into a singular, overwhelming experience. D…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey talks about the nature of frustration, unraveling its complexities through the lens of language, symbolism, and individual interpretation. Dr. Kashey begins by highlighting the universal acknowledgment of frustration while emphasizing the varied and often comical definitions people ascribe. Delving into the symbolic powe…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey shares a guide through the frustrating journey of Jessica, a traveler whose meticulously planned trip takes an unexpected turn, leading to a cascade of irritations and setbacks. Dr. Kashey explores the multifaceted aspects of frustration, ranging from minor annoyances to overwhelming experiences. He skillfully weaves in …
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Ep# 162: Unstuck Yourself With Seven Habits
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In part two of the accidental psychobiology of stress series, Dr. Kashey takes you through the intricate concept of resilience. This episode delves deep into the seven habits of highly resilient people, shedding light on the crucial elements contributing to one's ability to recover from distress and adapt to challenging situations. Dr. Kashey walks…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey takes an unexpected detour from the planned lesson on resilience and the psychobiology of stress. Dr. Kashey dives into a thought-provoking post from the group. A community member shares the ups and downs of their journey, expressing frustration despite notable successes. Dr. Kashey seizes this opportunity to discuss the…
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Ep #160: Seven Habits of Highly Resilient People
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In today's session, Dr. Kashey explores the psychobiology of stress, emphasizing resilience and the ability to recover from and adapt to distress. This two-part episode explores the intricacies of stress and its potential to compound into what feels like a never-ending spiral. In part one, Dr. Kashey unravels the seven habits of highly resilient pe…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey delves into the practical applications of cognitive behavioral science in managing stress and preventing unwanted weight gain. He draws from previous lessons on stress and frustrating stimuli, translating theory into real-world strategies. Dr. Kashey explains how historical approaches to stress management were primarily …
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Ep# 158: The Three Things Stressing You Out
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Today, Dr. Kashey talks about stress and everything it entails. He unravels the complexity behind this term, tracing its origins to a fascinating historical mistranslation from Hungarian scientific works. Dr. Kashey guides listeners through the confusion stemming from the physics and biological definitions of stress and strain, shedding light on ho…
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Welcome to a new episode where Dr. Kashey discusses the intricate and sometimes frightening field of the psychobiology of the human stress response. Dr. Kashey courageously navigates the complexities of how stress can manifest into detrimental health effects, impacting our bodies and minds. The episode breaks down the stress response into six key s…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey addresses a fundamental yet often overlooked aspect of human behavior: the battle between control and influence. With his trademark wit and wisdom, he emphasizes the importance of understanding the negative consequences of an obsession with control and the benefits of shifting our perspective to influence. He shares how …
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Ep# 155: Lose Weight by Focusing on the Negative
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Welcome to another enriching episode with your insightful host, Dr. Kashey. In this episode, we delve deep into transformation, focusing on harnessing negative experiences to propel oneself toward growth and resilience. Our central character, Tabitha, makes a comeback, illustrating the profound impact of managing frustration and impulsiveness. Driv…
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Ep# 154: Turn Your Obstacles Into Opportunities
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey discusses the fascinating realm of turning obstacles into opportunities. Inspired by an insightful comment from TKN's client, Danielle, he explores the profound impact of changing our perspective on challenges. By focusing on the side effects of our growth journey, Danielle has developed a remarkable ability to transform…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey explores the dynamics of frustration, resilience, and the art of overcoming life's hurdles. Inspired by a post from a successful real estate professional, Rocky, who shared her moment of pushing through a challenging task, Dr. Kashey explores the science behind frustration tolerance. He emphasizes that life often feels f…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey dives into the prevalent theme of offense in today's culture, exploring the dynamics of language, influence, and the human tendency to feel offended. He takes listeners on a journey through the continuum of influence, shedding light on how our responses to offensive language can either reinforce destructive patterns or p…
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey delves into the profound connection between what we say and how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. In a constant flux of words, he creatively likens the mouth to a representation of our gastrointestinal tract, emphasizing the impact of both external and internal "garbage" language on our well-being. Dr. Kashe…
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In this fiery and insightful episode, Dr. Kashey challenges the widely accepted notion that you automatically become like the people you surround yourself with, debunking this flawed belief. He dismantles the oversimplified idea that merely spending time with certain individuals automatically changes your beliefs and actions. He emphasizes the impo…
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In this captivating episode, Dr. Kashey takes us on an insightful journey into STDs (Substitute, Trash, Decrease). To elaborate, he shares a remarkable story about Tabitha, a resilient individual who battled adversity, transforming her life from sickness to wellness. Tabitha's tale serves as a powerful backdrop for a thought-provoking exercise. The…
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Today's discussion touches on the three fundamental aspects crucial for maintaining a rational and constructive relationship with food, eating, and your body, which pave the way for overcoming life's hurdles with grace. Dr. Kashey talks about SRO, which captures the essence of stimuli, responses, and outcomes. Life's stimuli refer to those unavoida…
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Ep# 147: Eating and Drinking Out of Frustration and Anger
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Today, Dr. Kashey dives into the world of frustration, anger, venting, and vices. Have you ever felt that overwhelming urge to let it all out or even indulge in binging? Buckle up as Dr. Kashey explores the biological and philosophical aspects of why we tend to gravitate towards these behaviors when upset. He breaks down the logic behind why ventin…
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Ep# 146: Food, Eating, and the Human Body
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In this episode, Dr. Kashey dives into the fascinating realm of human belief systems. He delves deep into the intricate workings of the SRO model, a powerful tool for understanding the interactions between cognition, emotion, and behavior, as he explores how humanity's belief system influences our actions, frustrations, and outcomes, particularly w…
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Today, Dr. Kashey talks about how being frustrated with positive results can lead to unhappiness and weight gain, while being content with negative results may have a different effect. In the previous lesson, Dr. Kashey introduced the SRO model, focusing on its relevance to food, guilt, body image, and resolving related problems. In this episode, h…
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Ep# 144: Chronic Musterbation Destroys Your Body
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In this episode, Dr. Trevor Kashey explores how chronic musterbation can impact the body and mind. He highlights the importance of understanding the potential consequences and invites listeners to examine their beliefs around food, eating habits, and body image. Through his unique SRO model, he explores how rational and distorted beliefs shape our …
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