Best Paul Colaianni Podcasts (2025)

1
Understanding the Capability of Emotionally Abusive People with Paul Colaianni 1:27:03

23d ago1:27:03

1:27:03

Can an emotionally abusive person change? Paul Colliani joins me to explore the patterns of manipulative behavior, why some people refuse to take accountability, and how anxious attachment and emotional immaturity play into abusive dynamics. We also discuss the false hope that keeps many survivors stuck, the importance of recognizing real change ve…

1
I Love You, If You Do This: A Story of Realizing Sexual Coercion 18:56

2h ago18:56

18:56

Sex can be misused as a tool for emotional regulation and control rather than genuine connection. In this episode, I take you through a story describing what initially felt like overwhelming love gradually revealed itself as a pattern of guilt-tripping, boundary violations, and emotional manipulation. I detail specific moments where my autonomy was…

1
Do You Feel Pressured to be Intimate? 18:09

13h ago18:09

18:09

Intimacy can be manipulated as a tool for control and emotional regulation. She shares intimate stories of recognizing coercive patterns—from subtle guilt-tripping and boundary violations to the misuse of sex as a litmus test for emotional connection. Whether you’ve felt pressured in your relationships or questioned the true meaning of love and int…

1
Don't lock yourself into a worse situation 32:10

9h ago32:10

32:10

When you get into an emotionally abusive relationship, you have no idea what you're walking into. When you figure it out, you might have to make some tough choices. One of those choices might lead to getting deeper into something you know is bad for you.By Paul Colaianni

1
The big life lessons that can change everything for the better 31:46

3d ago31:46

31:46

There are some life lessons that we have to force ourselves to go through in order to make our circumstances better. Those lessons can feel like a massive leap over a bottomless chasm. But the rewards for such a leap can mean the difference between living a full life or one restricted by fear and uncertainty.…

1
Aimee the AI Advocate: How Aimee Says Supports Survivors of Emotional Abuse 42:41

9d ago42:41

42:41

Anne Wintemute, co-founder and CEO of Aimee Says, an AI-driven companion designed to support survivors of relationship abuse, joins me to share the inspiration behind Aimee and how it serves as an emotional support tool, offering validation, guidance, and safety planning for those navigating toxic relationships. We discuss how AI can help survivors…

1
Am I really the problem? 48:44

11d ago48:44

48:44

If you find that you define yourself in a negative way based on someone else's perception of you, you must listen to this episode. Is what they're saying about you really true? If you think that, we need to address that right away.By Paul Colaianni

1
Navigating Breakups 18:29

14d ago18:29

18:29

This episode breaks down why conventional breakup rules don’t apply when you’re dealing with manipulation, control, and gaslighting, and offers guidance on how to reclaim your boundaries, your sanity, and your life. By focusing on patterns over promises, I provide tangible steps to help you break free from the emotional tug-of-war and start taking …

1
Should payback for bad behavior be a relationship norm? 48:33

17d ago48:33

48:33

What are your rights in a relationship with someone who is mistreating you or acting badly? Is it okay to get back at them and reciprocate with similar or worse behavior? What's fair in relationship warfare? Good question!By Paul Colaianni

1
Why abusive people need to maintain power and control over you 42:40

19d ago42:40

42:40

Some people just won't stop being hurtful. Why won't they stop? Are they just terrible people we have to accept and move on? Power and control is their M.O. and it's important you know why. For some there is hope. For others, well, it may take a lot more than hope to see change. https://loveandabuse.com…

1
Decluttering the overwhelmed brain 40:50

24d ago40:50

40:50

If you find your mind feels like an overstuffed closet, and your actual closet is also overstuffed, I'll try to help you balance the mental and physical clutter in this episode. It's a special episode that strays away from the norm, but hey, out of eleven years of doing this show, one off the beaten path isn't going to hurt.…

1
Trauma Bonding – Understanding the Addictive Cycle in Toxic Relationships 27:39

1M ago27:39

27:39

In this episode, I break down what trauma bonding really means and why it can feel so hard to leave a toxic relationship. Instead of being about sharing past trauma, trauma bonding happens because of a crazy cycle of ups and downs—brief moments of love and kindness that keep you holding on even when you're being hurt. In this episode, I discuss how…

1
When empathy is used against you 37:35

1M ago37:35

37:35

Some people can be draining, especially if they play the victim after they've done bad behavior and expect you to empathize with them. Some people are very, very good at doing that. I talk about those people today.By Paul Colaianni

1
Breaking Free from a Toxic Relationship 17:01

1M ago17:01

17:01

Traditional breakup rules fall short when you're dealing with a partner whose only goal is to control the narrative—and why the breakup never feels like an ending at all. In this episode, I will discuss: Unpacks the Cycle: Discover how manipulative behaviors like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and isolation keep you stuck, even when you know you dese…

1
Those who hurt you have poor coping skills so give them a break... right? 44:23

1M ago44:23

44:23

Hurt people hurt people, so we should have compassion when they hurt us, right? You know the answer and I know the answer. How does the person who is hurting you start to change and heal, though? Lots to unpack here.By Paul Colaianni

1
What can keep you stuck with the same results over and over again 47:26

1M ago47:26

47:26

Our childhood coping mechanisms shape our adult relationships. Sometimes the old fears keep us from moving into new, better territory, keeping us stuck where we are.By Paul Colaianni

1
Why Am I Stuck? 21:59

1M ago21:59

21:59

"Why am I stuck?" In this episode, I unpack the layers of trauma bonding, cognitive dissonance, gaslighting, and self-blame that keep survivors tethered to their abusers long after the relationship ends. I share insights from my own healing journey, including the emotional grip of intermittent reinforcement and the manipulation of vulnerability. If…

1
The gradual shift from who you were to who you became in the emotionally abusive relationship 49:13

1M ago49:13

49:13

The person you were before the difficult relationship almost always looks and feels different than the person you became while in the difficult relationship. And losing that part of yourself may make you think there's no way back. Sometimes, you can't even remember who you used to be.

1
Washing your hands of a problem that won't go away 38:05

2M ago38:05

38:05

Some problems won't go away until you walk away from them. But walking away can be hard... sometimes impossible. And sometimes it involves sacrifice. And is walking away the only answer?By Paul Colaianni

1
Fear of Abandonment vs. Pushing People Away: Breaking the Cycle of Chaos in Relationships 17:46

2M ago17:46

17:46

How can a fear of abandonment lead to pushing people away? In this episode, I explore the complexities of anxious attachment, traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), and how self-awareness can pave the way for healthier relationships. I delve into the inner conflict often experienced by individuals with BPD—a push-pull dynamic where fear o…

1
The pressure of sex and expectations in an established relationship 39:47

2M ago39:47

39:47

Sometimes emotional and sexual expectations can be challenging to balance in a long-term relationship... but do they have to be? Or is intimacy just difficult with certain people who seem entitled to receive it instead of trying to build it from the ground up?By Paul Colaianni

1
When "No" Isn't Respected: Understanding Sexual Coercion 38:16

2M ago38:16

38:16

This episode dives into the misunderstood and rarely discussed topic of sexual coercion in relationships. I discuss recognizing coercive patterns and how emotional manipulation can slowly erode personal boundaries, leaving you feeling trapped, guilty, and ashamed. I also read heartbreaking comments from women who shared their own stories of being p…

1
Feeling like you have no choice but to submit to ungrateful, uncaring people 1:10:20

2M ago1:10:20

1:10:20

You know the type: They do nothing and you do everything. In this episode, I share the struggle of a woman who has a rocky relationship with her adult daughter who moved back in with her. I share a lot of thoughts and lessons we can learn what we can do, if anything, when the other person in your life is making things unnecessarily harder.…

1
Divorce Coaching is a Game-Changer for High-Conflict Situations 45:21

2M ago45:21

45:21

Divorce coaching can transform your experience when navigating high-conflict separations, especially with a narcissistic or difficult ex. Learn why proactive coaching is more effective than crisis-mode reactions, how to build resilience during calm periods, and the practical strategies that can save you emotional and financial strain. In this episo…

1
The growing resentment that can build when their hurtful behaviors never end 48:04

2M ago48:04

48:04

When someone keeps hurting you, you might blame yourself and think if you were only better, they'd stop. But as their hurtful behavior continues, resentment builds and you start questioning everything about yourself.

1
The partner who likes things as they are when you're just miserable 42:51

2M ago42:51

42:51

When you live with your romantic partner... And their relatives... And your partner doesn't seem to want that to change... What are your choices? Very hard question! I thought I'd tackle that today.By Paul Colaianni

1
Navigating New Year’s Pressure After Emotional Abuse 29:43

2M ago29:43

29:43

New Year’s resolutions often come with societal pressure to transform, but if you’re recovering from emotional abuse, they can feel overwhelming and triggering. In this episode, I share why it’s okay to step away from the noise and focus on what you truly need to move forward. In this episode: Why “New Year, New You” narratives can feel impossible …

1
The people who avoid you 29:21

3M ago29:21

29:21

Are you trying to reconnect with someone who’s unresponsive? Maybe they want nothing more to do with you and maybe you don't know why? And maybe this episode gives you the final step to take with others who seem like all they care about is avoiding you.By Paul Colaianni

1
Holiday Triggers and Emotional Healing 24:10

3M ago24:10

24:10

Holidays can be a minefield of emotions, especially when past traumas resurface. In this episode, I delve into the complexities of holiday triggers and how they amplify everything. We explore understanding why holidays can trigger past trauma and ways to manage it, strategies for grounding yourself in the present moment amidst emotional upheaval, t…

1
The judgments you have about others that keep you unhappy 44:31

3M ago44:31

44:31

If you’ve ever found yourself trying to change someone's habits or feeling frustrated by their behaviors, this episode might help you learn what it takes to deal with and maybe even heal with someone you just can't seem to fully accept.By Paul Colaianni

1
High-Conflict Co-Parenting During the Holidays 21:15

3M ago21:15

21:15

Navigating co-parenting challenges with a high-conflict ex can feel overwhelming—especially during the holiday season. In this episode, I share practical strategies to manage last-minute schedule changes, manipulative behavior, and the emotional toll these dynamics can take. Learn how to stick to your court order, document effectively, and create n…

1
How your coping mechanisms may be interfering with your happiness 57:15

3M ago57:15

57:15

How you cope with challenges affects... well... your whole life really! It can be helpful to know what your coping mechanisms are and where you learned them so that perhaps you can examine them and choose different responses in the future. If it were only that easy.By Paul Colaianni

1
Are you the reason someone is hurtful to you? 29:47

3M ago29:47

29:47

What is the cause of mistreatment in a relationship? Do you think it's possible you are reason someone is hurting you or trying to change you? If so, you need to listen to this episode. There are many reasons this is happening, but...By Paul Colaianni

1
Holidays Without Your Kids 14:36

3M ago14:36

14:36

Navigating the holidays without your kids? You're not alone, and this episode is here to support you. On this episode, I dive into the raw realities of spending holidays apart from your children due to divorce or custody arrangements. Support the show Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com Instagram: @emotionalabusecoac…

1
The massive, impossible, overwhelming circumstances that make life feel hopeless 45:02

3M ago45:02

45:02

Problems can add up, compound, and create a situation so impossible to get out of that there seems to be no hope. Is it total defeat or is there anything you can do?By Paul Colaianni

1
Emotional Coercion 30:41

3M ago30:41

30:41

This episode dives into emotional coercion—the subtle, insidious tactics designed to control your decisions and behavior without overt aggression. From gaslighting that leaves you questioning your reality to guilt-tripping that makes you feel responsible for your partner’s happiness, I uncover the patterns that keep you stuck in toxic cycles. I als…

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Paul Colaianni Podcasts

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