Best Yvette Erasmus Podcasts (2024)

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#67 - 8 Practical Insights for Setting Boundaries 31:05

7h ago31:05

31:05

This week's podcast features one of my favorite discussions: Boundaries. It can be hard to set boundaries with life-long friends, and this week's discussion explores the complications concerning caring for ourselves, and helping others. In this episode we explore: 1:00 Looking for an in-person opportunity to work with me? Consider attending my retr…

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#66 - Caring About vs Responsible For - All About Friendships 56:27

7d ago56:27

56:27

When they're good, our friendships can greatly contribute to the overall quality of our life. When they're hard, our friendships can make life really difficult. On this episode of Conversations from the Heart, we talk about all kinds of issues regarding friendships. We discuss: 1:01 How do I take a break from a friendship? 8:10 How to acknowledge a…

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#65 -When to Stay, When to Let Go: Honest Conversations About Love, Family, and Friendship 27:56

15d ago27:56

27:56

One of the hardest decisions we can make is to dismantle a marriage when there are children involved. On this episode of the podcast, we uncover how to make the decision of whether to stay in or leave a marriage because of the kids. We also discuss: 1:34 How do I make accommodations for my needs and my children's needs at the same time? 4:01 Determ…

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#64 - Stop Being Polite: How to Say the Disruptive Thing 34:03

22d ago34:03

34:03

It's domination programming that teaches us the louder we raise our voices, the faster the other person will capitulate and join our side. However, in order to affect real change, the key is to get others to care about what it is we're caring about. And this is a much slower, longer, harder task. In this episode, we talk with a caller embarking on …

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#63 - Setting Terms of Engagement 44:55

29d ago44:55

44:55

The locus of control in a boundary lies with us, and concerns what we are willing and unwilling to do. One of the data points we can use when negotiating our boundaries is how others engage with us. In this podcast episode, we discuss our responsibility for setting up terms for engagement that are centered around our values, and we discuss: 1:11 Ho…

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#62 - How to Build Emotional Connections with People Who Struggle to Express Feelings 47:06

1M ago47:06

47:06

It can be incredibly painful when we find ourselves in relationships where we long for deeper authentic connection but can't seem to elicit that desire in others. In this episode, we discuss: 1:11 How can I connect with someone who can't work won't talk about his feelings? 8:13 If someone is unhappy, that must mean something is wrong, right? 12:11 …

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#61 - Letting Go of What You "Should" Do 52:39

1M ago52:39

52:39

It's easy to let our thoughts sink into the "shoulds" that have been programmed into us: "I should be able to handle this: other people say it's easy." "He should be able to get ready and go to school by himself - he's old enough now." "I should have paid my taxes weeks ago - why does this feel so hard?" However, running our lives on "shoulds" ofte…

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#60 - How to Work With People As They Are 39:46

2M ago39:46

39:46

When we want to stay in relationship with people who have hurt us, it's important for us to figure out a way to connect with them in a way that keeps us open hearted and also protected. But how, exactly, can we show up open heartedly in ways that also protect us and keep us safe? That's where open hearted and loving boundaries come in. In this epis…

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#59 - Transforming Cultural Norms for Healthier Relationships 50:27

2M ago50:27

50:27

We've all been well trained in the rules of the game we all know. We've been taught to be dutiful children, loving siblings, tolerant friends. But when some of us realize that we've outgrown the status quo, it can feel like an act of rebellion and revolution as we transform the rules of a system that no longer works for us in search for a more auth…

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# 58 - Can We Inspire Care from Others? 48:36

2M ago48:36

48:36

Love cannot be ordered up. Care cannot be demanded. If we want certain people to love us, or care about us, is there anything we can do to make that more likely? This episode explores various relational moves across three scenarios that might help to inspire more care for ourselves from other people. We discuss: 1:36 The stove is broken. How can I …

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#57 - How Can I Get You to Be Real With Me? 47:22

2M ago47:22

47:22

We may be interested in living an authentic, honest life. Unfortunately, that doesn't necessarily mean those we're closest to are interested in doing the same thing. The easiest way to encourage those around us to show up authentically is by ensuring we make that experience as easy and enjoyable as possible for them. In this episode, we discuss: 2:…

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#56 - How to Get More of What You Want: Difficult Family Member Edition 46:11

3M ago46:11

46:11

Navigating relationships with difficult family members can sometimes be a Herculean task. This episode highlights four main strategies for walking the path of authentic communication with family members who can be hard to connect with: 1. Practicing the art of translating judgments into feelings and needs. 2. Maintaining deep connection with oursel…

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#55 - How to Stay Engaged When You Want to Run 43:13

3M ago43:13

43:13

Changing our default patterns in relationships takes intention and effort. Whether we're wanting to act differently with loved ones at home or with strangers in public, relational transformation starts by turning inward and working with ourselves, first. In this week's conversation we discuss: 1.01 Find information on my upcoming offerings: Deep Di…

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#54 - Fitting In vs. Belonging 48:02

3M ago48:02

48:02

This week's episode explores themes of belonging, and the human need we all share for community. We explore: 1:59 I don't feel like I belong anywhere 5:50 Rising into grandiosity or sinking into shame 7:19 Belonging to Yourself 12:05 The role of reverence 14:03 How do I handle passive aggressive comments? 25:20 We're either repeating or transformin…

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#53 How To Change Other People (Nonviolently, of course) 53:05

3M ago53:05

53:05

This week's episode is an investigation into working things through in relationship: with our extended family, our mothers, our daughters, and ourselves. We explore: 1:18 The dynamics I see in my nieces and nephews repeat the dynamics between my siblings and I get triggered. How can I help myself and them? 4:12 How to ground observations in micro m…

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#52 - Addressing Racism at Work 23:02

4M ago23:02

23:02

This week's caller is looking for scripts that can help her call out some discriminatory dynamics at work. She asks: "I am facing new challenges in my work environment. More specifically, I am noticing weird racial dynamics ( for example, staff of colour all scheduled for night shift, and day shift exclusively (no exceptions) staffed by white staff…

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#51 What Can I Do When Someone Hears Blame in Everything I Say? 27:09

4M ago27:09

27:09

It's a common - if painful - dynamic: we want to share our pain with another in the hopes of receiving empathy, but their best move is to try and fix our pain by finding fault with something we've said or done. It is so hurtful to be blamed for our own pain. In this week's episode, a caller asks a universally applicable question: "What can I do whe…

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#50 - 4 Scripts for Common Situations 48:42

4M ago48:42

48:42

It can be so difficult to know what to say next. Whether you need to have a personal or professional conversation, sometimes finding the words are hard. In this week's podcast, we script out four different conversations for four different scenarios. We discuss: 1:06 "Please tell me you love me, dad." 8:54 "I'm sorry, but you're fired." 15:47 "I wan…

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#49 - When Belief Systems Collide 48:06

4M ago48:06

48:06

What do you do when you discover that a friend or loved one sees something in a polar opposite way to how you're seeing it? Are you able to stay in a place of grounded, open curiosity, or do you find yourself getting worked up and activated, wanting to change their minds? It can be very challenging to connect with loved ones when our belief systems…

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#48 - What can I do when you get triggered? 45:30

4M ago45:30

45:30

As we run through our everyday lives, we'll inevitably bump up against other humans who might be less resourced than we are. Catching others as they're having a bad day can provide us stellar opportunities to increase our own empathy, and we don't even have to say a word. On this week's episode, we delve into ways to manage our own nervous systems …

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#47 - Working with Anxiety 49:41

5M ago49:41

49:41

Do you ever worry that empathy is getting in the way? In this week's episode, one caller worried that empathizing with his mother in law's fear of having cancer was actually making her anxiety worse, and not better. On this call one of the things we discuss is anxiety, and some of the tips we can use when trying to empathize with someone who's feel…

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#46 - How can I use NVC to smooth out tension with my adult daughter? 18:58

5M ago18:58

18:58

It's only human to want the traditional NVC formula to solve all our connection problems. However, what the traditional observation, feelings, needs and request paradigm often does best is help us sort our own stuff out internally, first. After we use it to get our own stuff straight, then we can experiment with the best way to connect with those a…

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#45 - How Can I Listen to My Spouse When I'm Feeling So Defensive? 30:53

5M ago30:53

30:53

Do you find yourself plotting out how you're going to respond to someone even while they're still talking to you? We all do this. And it never works well. Not for any of us. Upleveling our listening skills is one of the most important upgrades we can make for our relationships. Today's episode is rich with ideas of where to focus during a conversat…

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#44 - The Sweet Spot Between Giving and Receiving 16:37

5M ago16:37

16:37

In this week's mini-episode, we delve into the needs that can be met when our family steps up to contribute to our lives in meaningful, important ways, and the loneliness and grief that can occur when they are no longer willing to help. We discover: 2:53 My brother-in-law doesn't want to help me anymore and my feelings are hurt 7:30 A script for ch…

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#43 - How Can Rules be in Alignment with Nonviolence? 14:00

6M ago14:00

14:00

Having good boundaries is not the same as being violent, and enforcing rules is not coercion. In this week's episode, we unpack a professor's desire to limit coercion and violence in her classroom and her desire to create a tight container that supports and respects participant sharing. We consider: 2:52 Can mandatory attendance be in line with non…

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#42 - What to Do When Your Boss Criticizes You 15:50

6M ago15:50

15:50

It can be hard to enjoy work f you're in a power up/power down situation with a boss who consistently criticizes you. It is especially challenging if you don't trust the perspective that your supervisor has. In today's mini-episode, we discuss strategies for handling criticism at work in ways that build understanding and reduce tension. Although a …

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#41 - How to Increase Your Self-Worth 48:40

6M ago48:40

48:40

High self-esteem is important because it influences how individuals perceive themselves, interact with others, and navigate the world around them. By fostering healthy self-esteem, individuals can cultivate resilience, confidence, and well-being, laying the foundation for a fulfilling and satisfying life. When our self-esteem is lower than we'd lik…

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#40 - The Wisdom Behind Anger 47:54

6M ago47:54

47:54

It can be really valuable to talk about the difference between anger and aggression. Although aggression can't exist outside of violence, anger can. This week's podcast discusses some of the wisdom that can present itself alongside anger, such as clarity surrounding needs, understanding regarding self-worth, insight around boundaries, and awareness…

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#39 - A Roadmap for Discussing Differences 55:28

7M ago55:28

55:28

These days, it can be so difficult to discuss politics and religion. Often, people tell me they just avoid those conversations. And honestly, I get it. However, if we're invested in co-creating a relationship with someone we care about, exploring places where we hold different opinions and beliefs can be exactly the place where we build intimacy. L…

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#38 - How to Navigate Complex Family Dynamics by Checking for Alignment 51:57

7M ago51:57

51:57

This week's episode focuses on how to navigate complex family dynamics - especially when what has previously worked is no longer sustainable. A common theme on this week's podcast is the importance of checking for alignment. If we're aligned in our needs and our wishes, then designing strategies to meet our goals is easier. In question number one, …

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# 37 - When Venting Is Valuable 43:19

7M ago43:19

43:19

"Venting" often gets a bad rap. Even though many people see "venting" as an inherently negative thing, knowing how to vent effectively can actually be an effective way of reclaiming and reconnecting with yourself. Sometimes, venting is just a pathway to something deeper, and we understand it as a step on our awareness journey. Other times, we just …

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#36 - Getting Grounded in Your Goodness 55:30

7M ago55:30

55:30

One of the things that can trip us up on our personal growth journey is to force the process before we're ready. I can think of so many times when I've been longing to master a skill that I was still practicing, and then criticizing myself for where I was at in the process. In this week's episode, we discover that the remedy for conditioning that i…

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#35 - How do I get my partner into therapy? 53:42

8M ago53:42

53:42

Today's conversation dives into the critical role of trust and communication in professional and personal relationships. Some of the questions we answer this week include: How do I handle having trust issues with my realtor? (0:58) How do I get my partner into therapy? (17:41) How do I decide whether or not to take a job opportunity that would keep…

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#34 - Making Peace With Pain 56:40

8M ago56:40

56:40

There's a big difference between feeling hurt and being harmed. In this week's episode I start with a few recent realizations from my own life regarding hurt and harm, and then we move into the following questions: How do I respond to someone accusing me of gaslighting when the person remembers a situation differently from me? (8:40) How do I talk …

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#33 - How to Manage a "Bait and Switch"... and more. 53:04

8M ago53:04

53:04

Have you ever felt like you're walking on eggshells during family gatherings or struggling with setting boundaries in relationships? Today's episode explores the nuances involved when we want get our needs met in a way that works for both people. You'll get practical strategies for protecting your personal space during stressful times and scripts t…

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#32 - How Do I Break My Freeze Response When I Hear A Racist Comment ... and more. 54:24

8M ago54:24

54:24

Empathy is a vital tool in our communication arsenal, allowing us to connect profoundly with others. It’s not merely about sympathizing with someone's situation but genuinely stepping into their shoes, understanding their emotions, and reflecting that understanding back to them. However, empathy alone isn't always enough, especially when faced with…

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#31 - What's the Point of Going "No Contact" if I Feel Bad About It? 53:03

8M ago53:03

53:03

In this episode, the conversation is about the emotional rollercoaster of family estrangement, examining the layers of apologies and the fears around intimacy. We explore the deep need for understanding and validation, particularly through the act of apology, which is dissected as more than a mere admission of fault but rather as an expression of e…

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#30 - Am I Allowed to Want What I Want? 59:56

9M ago59:56

59:56

In this conversation, we dive into the complexities of setting boundaries in the workplace and personal life. The ability to create a healthy space for oneself is not just about keeping others at bay but about nurturing interpersonal connections that are both compassionate and clear. The dance between personal limits and empathetic responses to oth…

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#29 - A Surprising Source of Courage 57:43

9M ago57:43

57:43

In this latest conversation, we dive into the nuanced world of personal boundaries and compassionate communication. It's a realm that many find challenging to navigate, as it requires a fine balance between honoring our own needs and respecting those of others. We discuss the internal conflicts that arise when we must assert our personal limits, su…

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#28 - Fostering Empathy, Setting Boundaries, and Embracing Healing 57:56

9M ago57:56

57:56

In this episode, you will learn strategies for articulating concerns without offending, fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding. The nuances of respectful communication are crucial in any situation. The conversation also touches on the challenge of managing demanding digital communication. By setting boundaries and providing cl…

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#27 - Intense Relationships and Personal Development 1:01:55

9M ago1:01:55

1:01:55

Have you ever felt caught in the emotional riptide of a relationship, where every push and pull seems to unearth deeper wounds? In this episode, we talk about the cycle of conflict and the pivotal moments where emotional work teeters on the edge of being constructive or destructive. Our candid dialogue peels back the layers of reenactment in relati…

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#26 - [Solo] 9 Steps to Prepare for Challenging Conversations 21:54

10M ago21:54

21:54

Finding the right words is only part of gracefully navigating difficult conversations; what matters is delving into self-awareness, acknowledging how our past experiences shape our present interactions, and approaching every conversation with openness and honesty. By understanding our biases and triggers, we can better manage our emotions during ch…

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#25 - Staying Connected During Difficult Conversations 1:01:42

10M ago1:01:42

1:01:42

Have you ever had that moment in a conversation where you just go "deer in the headlights" and aren't sure what to say next? And then you notice yourself having a lot of judgments about what the other person said, but you also have "rules" in your mind about being "nice" and so you stall out? On this week's podcast we dive into three compelling top…

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#24 - Building Communities of Support 57:36

10M ago57:36

57:36

Have you ever found yourself wondering who your people are, and where you can find them? Personal growth sometimes means we're surrounded by loved ones who can't receive us in the way we want to be received. This week, we examine how we can approach imbalances with grace, advocate for our emotional needs, and communicate effectively to ensure that …

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#23 - The Difference Between Wanting Validation and Needing It 52:01

10M ago52:01

52:01

As we navigate the delicate interplay between self-expression and the quest for approval, we unravel the truth that seeking affirmation isn't the villain we often paint it to be. In this episode, we talk about setting our expectations on how people would respond to our creative output and opening our minds to the possibilities of various reactions.…

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#22 - The Essential Role of Self-Connection in Successful Relationships With Others 55:57

11M ago55:57

55:57

It's often said that we can only connect with others to the extent that we've connected with ourselves, first. But what does that actually mean, and how can we use deep self-connection to actually improve our relationship with someone else? In this week's episode, the role of self-connection comes up twice, and we discuss a method for processing th…

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#21 -What To Do When Talking Gets Tough 56:52

11M ago56:52

56:52

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a conversation, wondering how things got so heated? We've all been there, and this week, we're peeling back the layers of authentic communication to help you navigate those tricky talks. We discuss the importance of personal growth and its transformative impact on how one perceives and interacts with fa…

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#20 - How to Apologize: Two Examples 55:45

11M ago55:45

55:45

How we impact others, matters. In an interdependent world, our choices and actions ripple out into the lives of others - either making things better, or worse. Sometimes, we positively impact others through our vulnerability, our generosity, our humor - our essential and imperfect willingness to live from our shared humanity. Other times, we fall s…

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#19 - But If I Tell You No, Will I Still Matter to You? 1:00:12

11M ago1:00:12

1:00:12

Domination System Programming is very good at teaching us that our value lies in our ability to meet the needs of others. To the extent that I make you feel good, I'm a pleasure to be around. When I'm willing to override my own needs for rest or play and work instead, I am rewarded by being called "dedicated" or "motivated". If I work hard at meeti…

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#18 - You're Not What I Need, but I Don't Want to Let You Go 59:28

11M ago59:28

59:28

The richest and deepest of romantic partnerships is the type where each person is committed to a shared vision of a life together--where each person brings the best of themselves to the other. So what do we do when we're all in, but our partner isn't feeling it? Or, if the tables are turned, how do we kindly disengage from an ex-partner who isn't r…

Podcasts Worth a Listen

Yvette Erasmus Podcasts

Podcasts Worth a Listen

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