06. On the Way Home Reflection - Leave your worries at work

Reflection on the go

On the way home: Come home without worries

This is a reflection and a visualisation to help you come home without your professional worries.

Leaving your job-related worries at work helps you be present and happier when you get home.

The time between work and home is like a bridge from your professional role to your private role. It's your choice what you want to take over the bridge and what you want to leave at work for the next day. The more worries you leave behind at work, the easier it is to be present at home and have time for your family and friends – and also for yourself.

(The questions and visualization of your "home tour bridge" start 2.44 minutes into the audio file.)

This is NOT about neglecting the problems at work. It's about managing your thoughts and adapting them to your context – in this situation: your work and your home – these are two different contexts where you also need two different kinds of thought patterns.

The problems at work will not be solved faster or better if you take them home in your consciousness. Your subconsciousness, on the other hand, quietly works on them without you having to deliberately think about it. And very often the good idea or solution comes when you are NOT thinking consciously. You might find the solution in your morning shower, or right after you wake up and lie in bed for a while with fresh thoughts before getting up.

On brain scans, we can now measure that only a small part of the brain is in use when we think about a specific problem or a specific task. And when we relax – thinking about nothing special – a large part of the brain is active. Your creativity and your ability to find new solutions therefore have very good prerequisites when you relax.

Therefore, when you soon cross the bridge from your work to your private life, try to formulate a question for one of the problems from today, instead of letting the worries run in circles.

The more specific your question becomes, the easier it is for your brain to help you find a solution.

If you have transport from your work to your home, then it is obvious to reflect here. If you work at home, consider going for a walk for just five minutes or sitting with your bridge for a moment after turning off your computer. Just 10 seconds is better than 0 seconds.

Here are the questions for the reflection, along with a visualization of your "coming home bridge":

• Imagine that you are standing in front of a bridge from your work to your private life.
• What concerns do you leave behind at work before crossing the bridge?
• You may say "Thank you for today" to the concerns and tell them you will get back to them tomorrow. They will not be forgotten. This approach immediately helps your brain to feel better, and then it is easier to let go of worries and step away from them.

• Choose a problem that you really want to solve
• Formulate a question for the problem - and ask yourself. You might say: "What can I do to solve a tiny part of the problem?" Sometimes a small part kick-starts the bigger solution.
• You can also ask for help, and begin by assessing who can help you: "Who should I talk to for help with...?" The more specific your questions are, the easier it is for your subconscious in your brain to help you.
• If you are alone, you can say it out loud now – if it is not appropriate to talk, then just ask in your thoughts.

• Stand in front of your “coming home bridge”. Look at it and now ask your questions. Shake your shoulders a little so that your tensions fall to the ground and stay there – in front of the bridge.

• Take a step onto the bridge and stand for a while with relaxed shoulders as you reflect on the day. You are welcome to smile a little discreet smile - it starts such a lovely chemical reaction in your brain.

• What result - and even if it is a tiny little result - have you achieved today?
• What will you praise yourself for today?
• Which tools worked well today?
• Who did you like working with?
• Who have you smiled at today?
• Who have you acknowledged today?

• Now go up to the middle of the bridge and stand still while looking over at your private side.
• What will your body language be like when you meet your private life?
• Which version of you walks through the door today?
• Who would you like to be extra present with today?
• How do you feel when you are present with your partner, your children or your friends?
• And how are you present with yourself?

• What do you do with your phone to be present for just 10 minutes?
• How do you make sure to be non-judgmental and just listen curiously?
• How can you be quiet while others are telling you something? Maybe there are some viewpoints you can learn from.

• If you tend to lose your temper at home, what will you do to gather your thoughts if that happens - and help lighten the mood? It's always good to have an emergency plan in case that happens.

• Who would you like to smile at today?
• Who do you really want to make happy today?

• Now create a feeling of joy and peace within you and walk to the other side of the bridge.
• Straighten up, relax your shoulders and smile. Your smile affects your relationships, because your brains mirror each other.

If you want to get even better at relaxing and letting go of your tension, then listen to Yoga Reflection 'Savasana'. 'Savasana' means 'corpus' in Sanskrit. By keeping both body and mind calm while you are fully aware, you learn to relax. This kind of conscious relaxation strengthens and refreshes both body and mind. And it can help you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour.

• And here comes the last question for you: What event from today will you be grateful for when you lay your head on the pillow tonight?

I wish you a calm and joyful way home where you deliberately leave your professional worries at work.