Best Yvette Erasmus Podcasts (2024)

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#48 - What can I do when you get triggered? 45:30

2d ago45:30

45:30

As we run through our everyday lives, we'll inevitably bump up against other humans who might be less resourced than we are. Catching others as they're having a bad day can provide us stellar opportunities to increase our own empathy, and we don't even have to say a word. On this week's episode, we delve into ways to manage our own nervous systems …

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#47 - Working with Anxiety 49:41

11d ago49:41

49:41

Do you ever worry that empathy is getting in the way? In this week's episode, one caller worried that empathizing with his mother in law's fear of having cancer was actually making her anxiety worse, and not better. On this call one of the things we discuss is anxiety, and some of the tips we can use when trying to empathize with someone who's feel…

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#46 - How can I use NVC to smooth out tension with my adult daughter? 18:58

17d ago18:58

18:58

It's only human to want the traditional NVC formula to solve all our connection problems. However, what the traditional observation, feelings, needs and request paradigm often does best is help us sort our own stuff out internally, first. After we use it to get our own stuff straight, then we can experiment with the best way to connect with those a…

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#45 - How Can I Listen to My Spouse When I'm Feeling So Defensive? 30:53

24d ago30:53

30:53

Do you find yourself plotting out how you're going to respond to someone even while they're still talking to you? We all do this. And it never works well. Not for any of us. Upleveling our listening skills is one of the most important upgrades we can make for our relationships. Today's episode is rich with ideas of where to focus during a conversat…

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#44 - The Sweet Spot Between Giving and Receiving 16:37

1M ago16:37

16:37

In this week's mini-episode, we delve into the needs that can be met when our family steps up to contribute to our lives in meaningful, important ways, and the loneliness and grief that can occur when they are no longer willing to help. We discover: 2:53 My brother-in-law doesn't want to help me anymore and my feelings are hurt 7:30 A script for ch…

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#43 - How Can Rules be in Alignment with Nonviolence? 14:00

1M ago14:00

14:00

Having good boundaries is not the same as being violent, and enforcing rules is not coercion. In this week's episode, we unpack a professor's desire to limit coercion and violence in her classroom and her desire to create a tight container that supports and respects participant sharing. We consider: 2:52 Can mandatory attendance be in line with non…

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#42 - What to Do When Your Boss Criticizes You 15:50

2M ago15:50

15:50

It can be hard to enjoy work f you're in a power up/power down situation with a boss who consistently criticizes you. It is especially challenging if you don't trust the perspective that your supervisor has. In today's mini-episode, we discuss strategies for handling criticism at work in ways that build understanding and reduce tension. Although a …

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#41 - How to Increase Your Self-Worth 48:40

2M ago48:40

48:40

High self-esteem is important because it influences how individuals perceive themselves, interact with others, and navigate the world around them. By fostering healthy self-esteem, individuals can cultivate resilience, confidence, and well-being, laying the foundation for a fulfilling and satisfying life. When our self-esteem is lower than we'd lik…

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#40 - The Wisdom Behind Anger 47:54

2M ago47:54

47:54

It can be really valuable to talk about the difference between anger and aggression. Although aggression can't exist outside of violence, anger can. This week's podcast discusses some of the wisdom that can present itself alongside anger, such as clarity surrounding needs, understanding regarding self-worth, insight around boundaries, and awareness…

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#39 - A Roadmap for Discussing Differences 55:28

2M ago55:28

55:28

These days, it can be so difficult to discuss politics and religion. Often, people tell me they just avoid those conversations. And honestly, I get it. However, if we're invested in co-creating a relationship with someone we care about, exploring places where we hold different opinions and beliefs can be exactly the place where we build intimacy. L…

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#38 - How to Navigate Complex Family Dynamics by Checking for Alignment 51:57

3M ago51:57

51:57

This week's episode focuses on how to navigate complex family dynamics - especially when what has previously worked is no longer sustainable. A common theme on this week's podcast is the importance of checking for alignment. If we're aligned in our needs and our wishes, then designing strategies to meet our goals is easier. In question number one, …

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# 37 - When Venting Is Valuable 43:19

3M ago43:19

43:19

"Venting" often gets a bad rap. Even though many people see "venting" as an inherently negative thing, knowing how to vent effectively can actually be an effective way of reclaiming and reconnecting with yourself. Sometimes, venting is just a pathway to something deeper, and we understand it as a step on our awareness journey. Other times, we just …

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#36 - Getting Grounded in Your Goodness 55:30

3M ago55:30

55:30

One of the things that can trip us up on our personal growth journey is to force the process before we're ready. I can think of so many times when I've been longing to master a skill that I was still practicing, and then criticizing myself for where I was at in the process. In this week's episode, we discover that the remedy for conditioning that i…

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#35 - How do I get my partner into therapy? 53:42

3M ago53:42

53:42

Today's conversation dives into the critical role of trust and communication in professional and personal relationships. Some of the questions we answer this week include: How do I handle having trust issues with my realtor? (0:58) How do I get my partner into therapy? (17:41) How do I decide whether or not to take a job opportunity that would keep…

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#34 - Making Peace With Pain 56:40

3M ago56:40

56:40

There's a big difference between feeling hurt and being harmed. In this week's episode I start with a few recent realizations from my own life regarding hurt and harm, and then we move into the following questions: How do I respond to someone accusing me of gaslighting when the person remembers a situation differently from me? (8:40) How do I talk …

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#33 - How to Manage a "Bait and Switch"... and more. 53:04

4M ago53:04

53:04

Have you ever felt like you're walking on eggshells during family gatherings or struggling with setting boundaries in relationships? Today's episode explores the nuances involved when we want get our needs met in a way that works for both people. You'll get practical strategies for protecting your personal space during stressful times and scripts t…

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#32 - How Do I Break My Freeze Response When I Hear A Racist Comment ... and more. 54:24

4M ago54:24

54:24

Empathy is a vital tool in our communication arsenal, allowing us to connect profoundly with others. It’s not merely about sympathizing with someone's situation but genuinely stepping into their shoes, understanding their emotions, and reflecting that understanding back to them. However, empathy alone isn't always enough, especially when faced with…

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#31 - What's the Point of Going "No Contact" if I Feel Bad About It? 53:03

4M ago53:03

53:03

In this episode, the conversation is about the emotional rollercoaster of family estrangement, examining the layers of apologies and the fears around intimacy. We explore the deep need for understanding and validation, particularly through the act of apology, which is dissected as more than a mere admission of fault but rather as an expression of e…

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#30 - Am I Allowed to Want What I Want? 59:56

4M ago59:56

59:56

In this conversation, we dive into the complexities of setting boundaries in the workplace and personal life. The ability to create a healthy space for oneself is not just about keeping others at bay but about nurturing interpersonal connections that are both compassionate and clear. The dance between personal limits and empathetic responses to oth…

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#29 - A Surprising Source of Courage 57:43

5M ago57:43

57:43

In this latest conversation, we dive into the nuanced world of personal boundaries and compassionate communication. It's a realm that many find challenging to navigate, as it requires a fine balance between honoring our own needs and respecting those of others. We discuss the internal conflicts that arise when we must assert our personal limits, su…

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#28 - Fostering Empathy, Setting Boundaries, and Embracing Healing 57:56

5M ago57:56

57:56

In this episode, you will learn strategies for articulating concerns without offending, fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding. The nuances of respectful communication are crucial in any situation. The conversation also touches on the challenge of managing demanding digital communication. By setting boundaries and providing cl…

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#27 - Intense Relationships and Personal Development 1:01:55

5M ago1:01:55

1:01:55

Have you ever felt caught in the emotional riptide of a relationship, where every push and pull seems to unearth deeper wounds? In this episode, we talk about the cycle of conflict and the pivotal moments where emotional work teeters on the edge of being constructive or destructive. Our candid dialogue peels back the layers of reenactment in relati…

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#26 - [Solo] 9 Steps to Prepare for Challenging Conversations 21:54

5M ago21:54

21:54

Finding the right words is only part of gracefully navigating difficult conversations; what matters is delving into self-awareness, acknowledging how our past experiences shape our present interactions, and approaching every conversation with openness and honesty. By understanding our biases and triggers, we can better manage our emotions during ch…

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#25 - Staying Connected During Difficult Conversations 1:01:42

6M ago1:01:42

1:01:42

Have you ever had that moment in a conversation where you just go "deer in the headlights" and aren't sure what to say next? And then you notice yourself having a lot of judgments about what the other person said, but you also have "rules" in your mind about being "nice" and so you stall out? On this week's podcast we dive into three compelling top…

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#24 - Building Communities of Support 57:36

6M ago57:36

57:36

Have you ever found yourself wondering who your people are, and where you can find them? Personal growth sometimes means we're surrounded by loved ones who can't receive us in the way we want to be received. This week, we examine how we can approach imbalances with grace, advocate for our emotional needs, and communicate effectively to ensure that …

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#23 - The Difference Between Wanting Validation and Needing It 52:01

6M ago52:01

52:01

As we navigate the delicate interplay between self-expression and the quest for approval, we unravel the truth that seeking affirmation isn't the villain we often paint it to be. In this episode, we talk about setting our expectations on how people would respond to our creative output and opening our minds to the possibilities of various reactions.…

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#22 - The Essential Role of Self-Connection in Successful Relationships With Others 55:57

6M ago55:57

55:57

It's often said that we can only connect with others to the extent that we've connected with ourselves, first. But what does that actually mean, and how can we use deep self-connection to actually improve our relationship with someone else? In this week's episode, the role of self-connection comes up twice, and we discuss a method for processing th…

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#21 -What To Do When Talking Gets Tough 56:52

6M ago56:52

56:52

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a conversation, wondering how things got so heated? We've all been there, and this week, we're peeling back the layers of authentic communication to help you navigate those tricky talks. We discuss the importance of personal growth and its transformative impact on how one perceives and interacts with fa…

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#20 - How to Apologize: Two Examples 55:45

7M ago55:45

55:45

How we impact others, matters. In an interdependent world, our choices and actions ripple out into the lives of others - either making things better, or worse. Sometimes, we positively impact others through our vulnerability, our generosity, our humor - our essential and imperfect willingness to live from our shared humanity. Other times, we fall s…

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#19 - But If I Tell You No, Will I Still Matter to You? 1:00:12

7M ago1:00:12

1:00:12

Domination System Programming is very good at teaching us that our value lies in our ability to meet the needs of others. To the extent that I make you feel good, I'm a pleasure to be around. When I'm willing to override my own needs for rest or play and work instead, I am rewarded by being called "dedicated" or "motivated". If I work hard at meeti…

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#18 - You're Not What I Need, but I Don't Want to Let You Go 59:28

7M ago59:28

59:28

The richest and deepest of romantic partnerships is the type where each person is committed to a shared vision of a life together--where each person brings the best of themselves to the other. So what do we do when we're all in, but our partner isn't feeling it? Or, if the tables are turned, how do we kindly disengage from an ex-partner who isn't r…

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#17 - How Can I Share What I'm Learning Without Being Off-Putting? 50:33

7M ago50:33

50:33

This week's episode had several questions regarding offering Nonviolent Communication to others. It can be very hurtful when we believe we have a method of communication that might help strengthen our connection with others, but our loved ones aren't interested in hearing what we have to say. A suggestion? One of the best ways to inspire others to …

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#16 - [Solo] The Protective vs. The Punitive Use of Force 21:37

8M ago21:37

21:37

It's no surprise that the increase of violence in the Middle East has me contemplating the use of force. Are we ever truly justified in using violence? In fact, we are. When the protective use of force is engaged as a life affirming tool used in order to increase safety and security for all, then everyone benefits. Do you find yourself looking for …

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#15 - Boundaries vs Requests; Judgments vs Discernments 53:21

8M ago53:21

53:21

If you've been wondering what lies in the middle between judgment and observation, then this week's episode of the podcast is for you. When focusing on making impartial observations instead of value laden judgments, we can sometimes forget about the wisdom that comes with discernment. Discernment--the ability "to separate", is an essential, executi…

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#14 - How to Break Through Codependency 47:36

8M ago47:36

47:36

Have you ever wrestled with the fear and discomfort that emerges when you want to shift your relationship dynamics? Are you grappling with codependency or struggling to express your emotions authentically with your parents? In today's conversation, we explore a daughter's heartfelt journey of wanting to honor her parents while navigating the challe…

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#13 - What Blocks Empathy? 53:00

8M ago53:00

53:00

Navigating the complexities of relationships and communication can feel like a tightrope walk - balancing empathy with personal boundaries, all while staying true to ourselves. In this episode, we'll confront the fear of being seen as mean when declining unhealthy conversations and reveal the roots of codependency that stem from such situations. Th…

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#12 - Self-Acceptance vs. Self-Improvement 57:25

9M ago57:25

57:25

In this episode, we explore emotional balance, fear, and self-blame and practical strategies that help to create a safer emotional space, neutralize self-judgment, and promote healthier attachments. Want to regain balance when your body is a fear state? Listen in! We cover the importance of creating an open, non-judgmental spaces for children to ex…

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#11 - Transforming Faux Feelings 52:23

9M ago52:23

52:23

Picture this: you're engaged in a heated argument with a loved one, words are flying around, and suddenly, you find yourself saying, "I feel attacked!" But is it really an attack? Does this word accurately convey what you're feeling? This episode will take you on a fascinating exploration of true feelings versus faux feelings. We discuss how often …

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#10 - How to Reclaim Your Inner Truth 53:29

9M ago53:29

53:29

In this episode, we break down how to identify and understand your actual needs and feelings. We also demystify the power dynamics within the family system and how they can distort our perspective in relationships. It's not about right or wrong; instead, it's about understanding and healthily managing our feelings and needs. In a society dominated …

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#9 - Natural Giving vs. Coercion 54:50

9M ago54:50

54:50

In our latest podcast episode, we explore the intricate dance between coerced and natural giving. I talk briefly about the spiritual underpinnings of my work and my deep commitment to helping you trust your inner authority. We dive into some real-life situations, including someone who finds it difficult to nurture herself in front of her mother and…

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#8 - What to do when you want more--or less--than someone else 56:05

10M ago56:05

56:05

Navigating relationships can feel like walking a tightrope. It's a delicate balance between understanding and respecting our own emotional needs while also being mindful of those of our counterparts. In this week’s episode, we talk about the nuances of setting boundaries and the impact of unresolved trauma on relationships. We also talked about the…

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#7 - Fielding Judgments with Empathy 58:02

10M ago58:02

58:02

Have you ever wondered how to navigate family conversations while skillfully maintaining your dignity and compassion? Are we responsible for someone’s trigger? Or how do we defend ourselves from the judgment of others? In today’s episode, we will talk about those and more. We talk about the power of empathy and understanding in conversations that c…

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#6 - The Dance Between Empathy, Self-Protection, and Boundary Setting 58:09

10M ago58:09

58:09

In this episode we explore the balance between setting self-care boundaries, while staying in connection with and empathizing with others. Ever struggled with the fine line between remaining empathic, but not enabling abuse? This episode is a heartfelt exploration of empathy, boundaries, and self-protection. Don't miss out. Show notes: [1:36] When …

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#5 - Building Bridges through Empathy, Communication, and Self-Awareness 57:01

10M ago57:01

57:01

Ever wondered how to navigate the landscapes of empathy, self-reflection, and interpersonal communication, with grace and compassion? Prepare to be enlightened. Together, we'll explore the importance of understanding our how to separate out the external stimulus from the our internal reactions, especially irritation, and lovingly accepting them wit…

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#4 - The Power of Presence in Navigating Relationships and Self-Care 56:34

10M ago56:34

56:34

Are you ready to unlock the delicate dynamics of your relationships? In this episode we talk about the importance of making implicit information explicit, and explore how compassion, proactivity, and understanding can transform your interactions. You'll get practical tools for creating more understanding and awareness, essential for effective commu…

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#3 - Harnessing the Power of Conscious Anger 1:01:02

11M ago1:01:02

1:01:02

Are your friendships and familial relationships causing you to lose sleep? Do you feel as though you're walking in a minefield when trying to communicate your feelings and needs? In this episode, we unravel the complexity of these emotional dynamics, offering practical strategies to help you navigate and cultivate healthier relationships. We talked…

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#2 - Healing Rifts: Building Bridges Through Communication 59:52

11M ago59:52

59:52

Are your family ties feeling like chokeholds? Is it difficult to draw a clear line in the sand with relatives without sparking a feud? This episode is your lifeline. Join us as we venture into the labyrinth of family dynamics, charting a path towards healthier boundaries and building stronger connections. We emphasize that it's never too late to se…

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#1 - What Deep Need Are You Trying To Meet 53:16

11M ago53:16

53:16

Have you ever been embroiled in a power struggle within your relationships, unsure how to navigate the tension and conflict? Welcome to the first episode of Conversations From The Heart. I am your host, Dr. Yvette Erasmus, and this week, we discuss exactly that - offering an insight into the dynamics of such struggles and providing strategies to mo…

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Welcome To Conversations From The Heart 5:46

11M ago5:46

5:46

Welcome To Conversations From The Heart. I am your host, Dr. Yvette Erasmus and I am on a mission to help you detox judgment, reduce conflict and build deep connections with others. As a child of a diplomat father and a revolutionary mother, I have navigated the complex intersections of cultures, languages, and worldviews. This unique background le…