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Expert Insights, Part 2: Trying To Change Others (Breather Episode with Brad)
Manage episode 278161829 series 2421902
Can you truly change others? And what is the price you pay for trying to do so? What if there was an easier way of dealing with that desire we all have to change the behavior, habits, or beliefs of those around us? In this episode, I’ll share the most useful and insightful tips I’ve gathered from various experts and invite you to expand your perspective on the topic of changing others.
Best-selling author Mark Manson remarked during his Get Over Yourself show appearance that instead of trying to change others, “You must decide what you are willing to tolerate and not willing to tolerate in your relationships.” Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in a “lose-lose situation” if you continue to try to change someone, or if you yourself end up changing for someone else. Another one of my favorite insights from Mark was his argument that self worth is an “illusion” and that you should best view your life as a series of decisions and actions. Instead, work on cultivating self discipline, because self discipline is the real key to happiness. I also love Mark’s stance on never using other people as a means to an end. Don’t think about what others can do for you, but rather, what you can do to be of service to others.
I’m also a fan of the actor Dax Shepard’s podcast Armchair Expert and share a story from one episode about how he handled an issue he was having with his wife, actress Kristen Bell. Annoyed with her habit of reading and responding to emails at night in bed, Dax remarked something along the lines of, ‘Can’t you schedule your time better during the day so you don’t do this at night?’ Well, unsurprisingly, that did not go over well. What did, however, was a different approach, with Dax simply telling her that he needed her full attention. The heart of the issue changed: it was no longer about what he wanted her to do, but instead about what he needed from her, and that made all the difference.
I wrap up the show with some great insights from Dave Rossi, who says that, “Attachments in relationships set you up for pain and suffering” and advises us to, “Accept others as they are, and don’t try to change them.”
Thanks for listening, and check back for part 3 of this series which will cover insights from experts on how to optimize your health!
TIMESTAMPS:
Don’t try to change other people. [01:28]
Self-worth is an illusion. [02:15]
If someone is trying to change you, then you are stuck in a lose-lose situation. [03:37]
Learn to express your own needs by doing it in a way where you are not trying to change the other person. [05:06]
The conditioned self responds to situations that supersede our power to make choices. [08:48]
The highest level of human consciousness would be to never use others as a means to an end. [11:56]
Don’t judge people. Don’t try to change people. Accept them for who they are. [14:20]
LINKS:
- Brad’s Shopping Page
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
- Everything is Fucked
- Brad’s podcast with Mark Manson
- Armchair Expert
- Brad’s Podcast with Dr. Wendy Walsh
- The Imperative Habit
- Brad’s Breather Show with Bruce Lipton
- Biology of Belief Podcast
Join Brad for more fun on:
Instagram: @bradkearns1
Facebook: @bradkearnsjumphigh
Twitter: @bradleykearns
YouTube: @BradKearns
We appreciate all feedback, and questions for Q&A shows, emailed to getoveryourselfpodcast@gmail.com. If you have a moment, please share an episode you like with a quick text message, or leave a review on your podcast app. Thank you!
Check out each of these companies because they are absolutely awesome or they wouldn’t occupy this revered space. Seriously, Brad won’t sell out to anyone if he doesn’t love the product. Ask anyone.
- Almost Heaven Sauna: Affordable at-home sauna kits for the ultimate relaxation and hormonal boost on demand
- Brad’s Macadamia Masterpiece: Mind-blowing, life-changing nut butter blend
- CAR.O.L bike: Cardiovascular optimized logic stationary bike for a highly effective eight-minute workout
- Male Optimization Formula with Organs (MOFO): Optimize testosterone naturally with 100% grassfed animal organ supplement
- Perfect Keto: The cleanest, purest, most potent ketone supplements and snacks
- LetsGetChecked: At-home medical testing with great prices, quick results, and no hassles
- Vuori Activewear: The most comfortable, functional, and fashionable gear, evoking the chill SoCal coastal lifestyle
This free podcast offering is a team effort from Brad, Daniel, Siena, Gail, TJ, Vuk, RedCircle, our awesome guests, and our incredibly cool advertising partners. We are now poised and proud to double dip by both soliciting a donation and having you listen to ads! If you wanna cough up a few bucks to salute the show, we really appreciate it and will use the funds wisely for continued excellence. Go big (whatever that means to you…) and we’ll send you a free jar of Brad’s Macadamia Masterpiece as a thank you! Email to alert us! Choose to donate now, later, or never. Either way, we thank you for choosing from the first two options! :]
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donations
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
596 episodes
Manage episode 278161829 series 2421902
Can you truly change others? And what is the price you pay for trying to do so? What if there was an easier way of dealing with that desire we all have to change the behavior, habits, or beliefs of those around us? In this episode, I’ll share the most useful and insightful tips I’ve gathered from various experts and invite you to expand your perspective on the topic of changing others.
Best-selling author Mark Manson remarked during his Get Over Yourself show appearance that instead of trying to change others, “You must decide what you are willing to tolerate and not willing to tolerate in your relationships.” Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in a “lose-lose situation” if you continue to try to change someone, or if you yourself end up changing for someone else. Another one of my favorite insights from Mark was his argument that self worth is an “illusion” and that you should best view your life as a series of decisions and actions. Instead, work on cultivating self discipline, because self discipline is the real key to happiness. I also love Mark’s stance on never using other people as a means to an end. Don’t think about what others can do for you, but rather, what you can do to be of service to others.
I’m also a fan of the actor Dax Shepard’s podcast Armchair Expert and share a story from one episode about how he handled an issue he was having with his wife, actress Kristen Bell. Annoyed with her habit of reading and responding to emails at night in bed, Dax remarked something along the lines of, ‘Can’t you schedule your time better during the day so you don’t do this at night?’ Well, unsurprisingly, that did not go over well. What did, however, was a different approach, with Dax simply telling her that he needed her full attention. The heart of the issue changed: it was no longer about what he wanted her to do, but instead about what he needed from her, and that made all the difference.
I wrap up the show with some great insights from Dave Rossi, who says that, “Attachments in relationships set you up for pain and suffering” and advises us to, “Accept others as they are, and don’t try to change them.”
Thanks for listening, and check back for part 3 of this series which will cover insights from experts on how to optimize your health!
TIMESTAMPS:
Don’t try to change other people. [01:28]
Self-worth is an illusion. [02:15]
If someone is trying to change you, then you are stuck in a lose-lose situation. [03:37]
Learn to express your own needs by doing it in a way where you are not trying to change the other person. [05:06]
The conditioned self responds to situations that supersede our power to make choices. [08:48]
The highest level of human consciousness would be to never use others as a means to an end. [11:56]
Don’t judge people. Don’t try to change people. Accept them for who they are. [14:20]
LINKS:
- Brad’s Shopping Page
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
- Everything is Fucked
- Brad’s podcast with Mark Manson
- Armchair Expert
- Brad’s Podcast with Dr. Wendy Walsh
- The Imperative Habit
- Brad’s Breather Show with Bruce Lipton
- Biology of Belief Podcast
Join Brad for more fun on:
Instagram: @bradkearns1
Facebook: @bradkearnsjumphigh
Twitter: @bradleykearns
YouTube: @BradKearns
We appreciate all feedback, and questions for Q&A shows, emailed to getoveryourselfpodcast@gmail.com. If you have a moment, please share an episode you like with a quick text message, or leave a review on your podcast app. Thank you!
Check out each of these companies because they are absolutely awesome or they wouldn’t occupy this revered space. Seriously, Brad won’t sell out to anyone if he doesn’t love the product. Ask anyone.
- Almost Heaven Sauna: Affordable at-home sauna kits for the ultimate relaxation and hormonal boost on demand
- Brad’s Macadamia Masterpiece: Mind-blowing, life-changing nut butter blend
- CAR.O.L bike: Cardiovascular optimized logic stationary bike for a highly effective eight-minute workout
- Male Optimization Formula with Organs (MOFO): Optimize testosterone naturally with 100% grassfed animal organ supplement
- Perfect Keto: The cleanest, purest, most potent ketone supplements and snacks
- LetsGetChecked: At-home medical testing with great prices, quick results, and no hassles
- Vuori Activewear: The most comfortable, functional, and fashionable gear, evoking the chill SoCal coastal lifestyle
This free podcast offering is a team effort from Brad, Daniel, Siena, Gail, TJ, Vuk, RedCircle, our awesome guests, and our incredibly cool advertising partners. We are now poised and proud to double dip by both soliciting a donation and having you listen to ads! If you wanna cough up a few bucks to salute the show, we really appreciate it and will use the funds wisely for continued excellence. Go big (whatever that means to you…) and we’ll send you a free jar of Brad’s Macadamia Masterpiece as a thank you! Email to alert us! Choose to donate now, later, or never. Either way, we thank you for choosing from the first two options! :]
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-get-over-yourself-podcast/donations
Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
596 episodes
All episodes
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